Please hold onto your lunch!

Sette ore e conteggio. Ero giù contando le ore per quasi una settimana. Può sembrare triste, ma il tempo sembra andare veramente veloce quando si va a letto e rendersi conto che hai appena perso un altro ventiquattro ore. Cento e sessanta otto ore è andato così veloce e ora siamo in questi ultimi sette. Sono ansioso di vedere di nuovo, e questa volta di essere in grado di abbracciare lui. Qualcosa non puoi fare su Skype. Io cerco di non parlare di lui qui, ma oggi mi 'causare Amo lui e non può aspettare di vedere di nuovo ... Sei ore e trenta minuti!

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io sono stanco

I have a small confession to make. I am still tired. I have been self medicating with berroca and Iron tablets and seriously contemplating caffeine to the list again. Most of the day I seem to spend in a stupor. Just working on repetition (not the most encouraging thought when you consider that I spend about 1.5 hours driving every day). As your aware I've run out of iron again but I am still on the berroca. and whilst maybe it was making a difference, it was not a major difference. Temporarily it seemed to have worked; but not any more.

I sleep right
I eat right
I drink right

So there shouldn't be anything wrong with me. I have to admit that I usually don't feel tired between the times of 7pm (Sydney time) and bed. But most of the time I figure I would be as useful sitting on a couch watching tv.

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Voglio andare verde, di nuovo

Yes I know I have tried going green before. I also know I am such a lazy git that the probability that I will stay green long is kinda low well not on my own anyway. Want to know what I hate most about going green? A product that is seen on the shelves says buy me I am green. You think yay pull it down turn it over and you can not read the ingredients list. Sure I think it is in English; I know enough French and Italian to know it isn't in those. Honestly why do they have to say sodium chloride when they mean salt? Sure if they put it in straight normal English I might sit down one day and make my own; but I am to lazy and busy to do that all the time. If I like it I will be back for more. An so is pretty much everyone else. Yes you have those competitors that will steal your product, but they are already doing that to your product in China anyway (plus adding horrible extra chemicals) least if they do it here we can go pound their bum to dust for being non-Australian (wow this is turning racist too).

Anyway I have been looking around; I did like my previous products that I was buying when I was green. But they were all in glass containers and whilst this is a nice thing. Glass and travel are not necessarily a good combination especially with travel rules etc. I can just see it "No ma'am you can't take your hand cream with you, it is a glass container you might stab the pilot with it; I am aware it is the size of a 20 cent piece but I am going to have to throw it out. I don't care that it cost you $50 it is the rules." Anyway I digress, as I am planning on doing a lot of travelling, ok so hoping to do a lot of travelling (as there aren't actually cemented plans for it) glass really isn't the way to go. So I am looking for alternatives; and this time I was also thinking of going a little further then just hair and body products; was thinking adornment products (make up) and cleaning products... much better then thinking I am going to die with the amount of chlorine and stuff that traditional cleaning stuff has in it.

problem is, I can't find anything in my state let alone nearby area. Today's searching has me headed for Queensland... Can't exactly wander up to Queensland every time I run out of toilet cleaner and shampoo.

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Giallo Stomaco

I went and saw Elizabeth; the golden years last night. If you have seen it I do not know what you thought of it; personally I thought it sucked. I could not seem to affiliate myself with any of the characters; a shocking horrible discovery. And honestly I did not have the stomach for all the torture scenes, or the beheading of Mary queen of Scots. The only good part was the costumes of the queen; her dresses; not her make up or hair styles; just her dresses.

I realise that over the past many months I have been doing much more better things then watching tv. An I have enjoyed every minute of it and hope that my evenings are to continue in this manner for sometime. I do not miss tv; in fact it really holds no interest for me at all these days. It is actually very surprising how much tv can desensitise you to blood torture and the likes. Yet I have found it just as surprising how easy it is to leave it behind and how quickly you become resensitised because you are no longer being constantly fed the treatments.

I am good in a crisis generally if I am called upon to bury my fist in the gaping whole that was just blasted in your side to keep you alive. I'll probably do it without a moments thought. But I really don't want to see it on my tv screen or for that matter the big screen, I just want to close my eyes until it is over; especially if it is one human to another, I can handle accidents just a little better.

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La principessa e il pisello

What do you get if you combine:

• a canvas camp stretcher
• a self inflatable mat
• a fitted satin sheet
• unzipped sleeping bag
• 2 furs
• and a couple of pillows

You have a bed far more comfortable then my mattress. Yes to some degree my sleeping arrangements standards have lowered even further as I am now sleeping on camp furniture. But at last I am getting a very comfortable nights sleep. Yes now it would be far to awkward to have two people on my bed, and it is now a lot further to fall should one roll off the bed. But now I am not waking up with a sore back. I am not waking thinking I am more tired then when I first closed my eyes. My room is still very makeshift, I still have not unpacked any of the boxes, not even to find objects I have been requested to find. They are making my room look like a serious mess. Neither have I painted out the cupboard or arranged to get it fitted out properly. I can't even get at the other cupboard; not that that is a lose, it is only being used as storage, despite my other plans for it. I am much more comfy though so I am happies.

On a gross note; I have been off iron pills for 3 days now and already my incessant sneezing is back and there is blood in the snot. This can't be a good thing right? What does iron have to do with my nose?

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È comune cortesia, non è vero?

I am beginning to think I live my life with my head in a bucket. Often I go with friends to see movies that i am not keen on going to see (did I say often perhaps I should say regularly). With my manner of trying everything at least once (there are limits) I will go along and see sometimes this is good giving me a taste of movies I've liked that I would not normally have chosen but I did enjoy. Over the past month 2 movies have come up that I have wanted to see that my movie companion will not see.

The first the beautiful One night with the king. - this was not at our regular cinema and was 15 minutes further away so this was to difficult and complicated

The most recent request was for death at a funeral - this looks silly.

So far the only movie I have refused to see point blank is Rogue the suggestion made to be seen instead of death at a funeral. A fact that I have been saying I won't go see it for weeks I think should of course be ignored. Yes I am a pansy, nothing wrong with a huge scary man eating crocodile movie. It's like Jurassic Park, just without extinct animals. I already have an incredibly stupid high regard for sharks, I don't want to put crocodiles in that list too.

Is it just my view that there should be give and take with friends. That they should be able to say ok, we'll go to that movie that you choose; without me jumping up and down saying you chose this this this and this that I wasn't looking forward to seeing. Sci fi movies, fantasy movies are almost not an option (with the occasional exclusion) Looks like british comedy is out too. I'll get stuck watching romances and chick flicks... prehaps my movie friend should go to the movies with my sister instead.

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E non è tutto per lei!

Over the last few days a discussion came up where I once again got myself in trouble. I have come to the conclusion that divorce turns people into selfish individuals. The issue came up with one member of my family lamenting the total ruin of our Christmas tradition. Once upon a time the whole extended family got together (being a small group we fitted in one house) and spent Christmas day together. From early morning where we sometimes shared breakfast together to late in the evening. It was family time where we got together and just was. The first divorce in the family put a almost insignificant rupture. Then due to the ability of the matriarch to be racist and a disproved wedding things got strained. Then my uncle divorced his wife and has now re-married. So you see the small mess my family is in. With the matriarch now moved on to greener pastures the strain is gone and now members of the family are known to lament the ruin of their Christmas.

Now I can fully understand that the years that Christmas would be at the home of the member of the divorce's them not wishing to have their opposing party in their home (especially if they are remarried (and breeding again)). I do not understand however why they can not bury the hatchet for the occasional day a year when they are invited to someone else's home. For example, why must I have a minimum of 2/3 Christmas's in small dribs and drabs when it is my year to have Christmas? Why can't I have my mother and my father, My Aunt, My Uncle and his interloper plus all my cousins over at the same time for my Christmas party? It isn't about them, it is about me that year and it is my home and they are all my family. My mother has told me that if I had a small gathering at my home (ie just family) and my father was coming, she would not come, neither would my sister come I would imagine.

I realise that divorce creates a lot of hurt and pain, and pain, but in the end particularly if you have breed prior to that their are times I think they should realise that they are burying the hatchet to show someone they are loved. Why when it is my event should I have to jump to hoops to make them happy it is my event, it is about me. What about weddings and funerals, baptism's and the like? am I to hold to of every event just so that they don't have to be in the same room?

Anyway if your going to be so selfish bout it and not do anything about getting back the events you enjoyed. Stop lamenting about it and wishing everything has happened; It's happened it isn't going to change; you can either fix it or shut up.

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Chi l'ha detto che avevo cattivo gusto; mentito

Due to an unfortunate mishap with my phone; I seem to have dropped it for the last time, I have been scouring the internet to get a replacement; and being that I am kinda happy with my current mobile phone provider I should buy a phone outright. So of course I have found one that I really like and kinda got my heart set on it.

The features that I want are:

• Camera 5 Megapixal with auto focus and 20x digital zoom (with flash)
  
• Bluetooth - for Simon (my GPS)
• Vibrating Alert (can't recieve sms's in movies and rally's without it)
• Alarm (trust me a must)
• Decent standby time (don't want to recharge it everyday because I didn't use it)
• Decent Talk time (don't want to have to talk plugged into a wall; that is what a landline is for)
• Sound recorder - might use that... not sure depends on distance needing to be at mouth
• AC Charger
• Colour screen
• drop proof - either permanently attach it to my body or give me a bouncable cover
  

The phone I want has all this (excluding drop proofing), plus extras I don't need like;

• 3g Broadband - I have internet I don't need more
• MP3 player - I have one don't need another
• Video Calling - had it on my last phone never used it
• Speaker phone - I am not supposed to drive and talk
• Infarared - no idea why I would use it
• GPS - I have Simon and I don't usually get lost on my feet
• Games - Also had em; don't use them
• FM Radio - umm no
• e-mail - nice idea but no
• Java - mostly only used for games before and takes forever to load
• Calculator - 1+1=2... see I know maths I no need
• Organiser - I like my paper one I leave at work...
  
• PC Synchronisation - Good for storing illicit sms's; pain in the arse to synchronise
• Hands free - you still got to push the buttons and if I don't want speaker phone why I want this?
• Video Connectivity Cable - what am I going to connect it to I mean really the point is? I'll just lose it
• USB cable - not going to synchronise to my computer no need it

All that for $1049. So of course I won't be getting it; (especially now that I have listed my wants and not wants). Due to my propensity for dropping I should get a really cheap phone. In the outright phones the cheapest I can get is almost a nokia original, with greenish and black little screen with few extras like snake and vibration alert. There are options in between these options of course and either I get more junk then I want and pay loads for it; or I have to lose out on stuff I want. Either way you got to pay lots more

Option 2 is to change prepaid phone company's - whole new kettle of fish as well dealing with phone junk, I got to find a company that gives me what I want, and I always get the feeling I am getting a dodgy phone; for the speed at which it is becoming obsolete is scary.

Option 3 Go on a plan. This is seriously the last option plans make me uncomfortable. They are going to make me pay them money for a minimum of 2 years in a contract that makes me feel a lot nervous. Yay up-to-date phone for signing a contract in blood with the devil.

I would like to custom build my phone. You can do it for computers why not phones. I'd happily pay someone to build me a phone to my specifications with only the stuff I want not all this other junk. They say the people buy on 2 thinks look, and ease of use. That is what most people might do... but what about those of us who might like to fiddle with parts etc... Computer geeks get to build their own computers; why can't fussy mobile phone users build their own mobile? I would not get a mobile in demonstration except well I do need one and my stand won't actually make a difference would it?

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Perdonare e dimenticare

Feeling the need to air secret dirty laundry today in an effort to figure out whether I am insane or perhaps I have been treated badly and my feelings are justified.

I kinda realised that I harbour a lot of contempt for certain members of my family and I am not sure if I should so I been thinking about reasons that I might have been given to learn these feelings.

In grade three my sister was being marked unfairly by her teacher more then once. My mother should know she would have done a large portion of the work. My mother wrote an essay numerous pages long, made copies and handed it to a bunch of people on school board and such and even took my sister for an interview at another school with thoughts of moving her because of the bad treatment. I was terrorized by all the kids in the school for as long as I can remember and all the teachers turned a blind eye to it. I was never given the opportunity to change schools until I told my mother half way through year 9 that I had been thinking about secretly moving schools on my own.

I've always had to wait for my sister. Take for example M15+ movies; After I turned 15 I was allowed to watch them for a week; after that I wasn't allowed to watch anything more then a pg until after my sister turned 15. Though she was the first to watch an M movie, she watched Liar Liar under age at the movies for a friends party. Mum says she didn't know. Despite the fact I told her over and over what it was.

My mother claims that my sister was always friendly to me and supported me. That I would like to point out is bullshit. When I say the whole school terrorized me. I include my sister. She is just as guilty as the rest. It was a well known fact to be friends to me would get you alienated.

My mother has done the majority of the work for all my sisters assignments. Yes my sister actually types them; but the hard yards were done by my mother. I have been told I am smart I don't need help. She says my sister isn't smart and needs all the help she can get if she wants to make it in the world (If your reading this; Yes your kinda loving mother thinks your stupid!)

When I got tonsillitis I had it for over a week before my mother agreed I was ill. I couldn't swallow without pain; breathing was difficult and my tonsils were the size of golf balls by this time and I was still going to school. I still have the offending articles and they are very easy to see and enjoy getting sore on occasion. When my sister gets a cold we go get special tissues and lozenges and give her the day off.

Getting car liscences, my sister was pretty much on her full liscence before I even got my P's because my sister could afford to pay for driving lessons. I could not afford them and so I was going to get my uncle to teach me; but no one could be bothered to take the time to take me down to see him; and I wasn't allowed to catch the train down as he brought me back the only time I did it. My sister was allowed to drive my mothers manual practically new car. I had to beg to be allowed to drive the automatic car that had had three previous owners.

Every weekend is taken up doing things my sister wants to do. Shopping/Surfing etc. It is a large inconvenience to do things I would like to do. All calendars are organized around what my sister is doing. To bad if I end up double booked. Lives are rearranged so she can attend events only to have her decided she isn't going to go after all.

Her rudeness, lies and stories are encouraged. From a young age she would hit me and then I would get into trouble because I must of hit her first for her to hit me. My existence is just to make her every wish a reality. I must marry so that she can be a maid of honour, (She of course picks all the dresses and the accessories and who will be in the party where it will be and who will be invited, but she won't make a speech of course). I must breed so that she can have small children to terrorize whom she believes will adore her. I must go on holidays I don't want to be on so that she doesn't have to go alone. I must ruin my holiday by being thoughtful of her because she doesn't know how to quietly entertain herself without a tv.

GRRR!!! and these are only off the top of my head. I have to admit the majority of them suggest I am severely jealous of her. But Jealousy leads to contempt and even hate. Any admittance on my part that I dislike my sister is met with a "No you don't she's your sister you love her." Any reference that suggests my mother is only my sisters mother is also squished flat. I am suppose to tell certain people how great they are. How do I do that when I want to be able to say I don't lie to that same person. I want this person in my life; and I don't want them in it. I knows I am a bad person for thinking it, they are my family I am supposed to love them just because we are related, but I don't. I would rather I had no family.

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Letto gioca

This not having a proper bed is starting to annoy me. I found a bed I liked and was going to put down a deposit for it about 4 weeks ago. Sadly for me I was convinced to wait; perhaps it would be on sale soon with Christmas so close on the horizon. So it is still waiting to be ordered; which is a pain as it takes 6 weeks for the order to come through. This would be fine except well my mattress that I am sleeping on is at least 23 years old. So you can imagine that honestly it is not providing much comfort at all these days. Don't get me wrong it is comfortable; but honestly I am sure a bed should be much more comfortable then this is. I have been waking up really sore every morning and it takes some time before I warm up and feel better. I am blaming this on my mattress because people fatter then me seem to be able to get a good nights sleep and not wake up feeling like I am. So I got to put my foot down; throw a tantrum and go and get my bed.... only problem is now I won't get the one I wanted this side of Christmas... it is likely that I wouldn't get it till sometime in February. "Grr," why do I do as I am told all the time?"

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Natale

I found this one someone elses blog... put it on your blog too (with your answers not mine). Nice and easy, means your blog will get that post he's been craving for.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper! If you think someone is worth giving a present you should put a little effort into it.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Fake tree; they look nice in the end and take a lot longer to look like a scraggily dead stick of wood.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Generally I avoid doing it at home; but I think December 1 is a good time.

4. When do you take the tree down?
I think it should be pulled down New Years eve day.

5. Do you like eggnog?
meh; I'll take it or leave it

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I think it was my first camera

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Not personaly, but there is one in the house

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Male's in general... I now have a new found respect for men that dress half decently.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My mother or sister... My mother or sister usually does it for me.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Bath stuff- sorry I realise you can't think of anything better; but your telling me I don't bathe often enough. I'd rather you didn't spend the money because 'you should get me something' then insult me.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
Mail!!! I love getting letters... I don't many; so I like to mail cards (if I do them)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus I think. Though The Santa Claus would kinda run close second... my dad is looking more and more like that Santa every time I see him

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
mmm... next week maybe... after November is over I think.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
I am to lazy for that... more likely to loose it first.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
candy canes...

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear; then they are more like little stars or candles and look pretty rather then tacky

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Wishes - by human Nature,

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
depends am I travelling to be with the people I want to spend Christmas with?

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angels; they make a tree look really elegant

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning... and if your really horrid... have breakfast first... it's amusing watching the excited ones chaffing at the bit to open their presents.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Christmas in the shopping centres started like the middle of October

23. What I love most about Christmas?
Holidays and the chance to spend time with the people you love

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Rispetto - Spelled con S

I am feeling creative so I think I will tell you a little story now.

Madeline was spending her holidays at her aunts place in Virginia. Her friend had come along with her and they had a lovely time romping in the town and chasing the cows on the farm with her two cousins. One morning they decided that they would go to the dam for the afternoon and have a fun time playing in the cool water. Madeline looked forward to it; and when the time approached, she went into the house to get changed; when she came out again she found that everyone had gone. Thinking perhaps maybe they had gone in to get changed to, she went inside and had a quick look. There was no one there; they had gone without her.

Suddenly her day was shattered, the event she was looking forward to had left her all alone. Hoping to salvage the afternoon Madeline went down to the dam on her own and found them having fun without her. Her friend called her to join them; which she did, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she had been abandoned. She pushed the thought from her mind and made the best of the situation.

Later that evening when her friend and her were alone Madeline asked her friend not to leave her behind again. Her friend apologised and explained what had happened. This made Madeline feel lots better and the incident was soon forgotten.

The morale of the story; Madeline didn't like what had happened and said something about it; and her friend didn't tell her off for it, even though it wasn't really the friends fault. It is hard sometimes to do it; but friends who don't put you down for speaking up are worth keeping.

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Sono intrappolati; non maturi!

Following on from the previous post I have found 2 sites of some assistance. Vernon Coleman; has a test on it which I figured I would do (it's a manual test; so it isn't a mouse click one and takes a little longer) 9 and below is the lowest section; you might think with that many questions you got to work really hard to get below that... I got a 7.

The other was an interesting read/view. wasn't a guide book or anything but not to bad.

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Sono stanco di essere buono

I realise with my history that this title has you sitting up straighter and your hair standing on end. "Oh no what could she possibly mean by that?" I don't mean going back to my old ways; I mean stopping this 'roll over, good dog' mentality as Deli refers to it. I think of the little sign displayed in a few offices at the receptionists desks with a smile, 'I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking any good either.' It is a sentiment that I really wish I could follow through on.

Looking at yesterdays post I figured I got this far... being me... perhaps it is time to address some of the faults I have. An I think it is seriously time to deal with the fact that I don't just roll with the punches; I play dead. At work if something goes wrong it is always my fault and I have at least 3-5 people sepperatly tell me off for it. One of these people dosn't even come into the office and I have never met him in person. At home I am tag teamed and I am never sure if I am coming or going. At work I rarely ever stand up and say shove off to anyone; I don't speak the language so I never know what is going on, so life has become keep your head down and do as you are told. At home when I have tried it the response to it is 'You would do it for 'so and so'' or 'But you did it last week?' these are the nicer responses...

When it comes to standing up for myself I am not very good at it. I either have to push so hard to make the other cry before or my argument is totally ignored and I lose my footing and give in. Responses thrown at me are I am selfish, I am thoughtless, I am cruel, I have favourites etc. And when a very similar incident comes around we have to go through it all again; and I sometimes can't find the energy to fight it again. It's like peeing on a tree to mark your territory, the other dogs still continue to walk by; sometimes even pee on my tree; but I feel like an old dog and don't want to fight so often

I also can't find a guid book on doing this either

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Sono contenuti

I woke up this morning in a state of contentment. I have noticed it creeping on me slowly over the past few days. I feel balanced, calm, relaxed and not frightened. I still get a little antsy when I consider the what ifs; but I suppose we can't have it totally perfect. I think I am even begining to trust a little more then I have been.

Unfortunately for this tranquil state I can not find pictures that would have me personify my blog more, rather then using the standard blogging template. Perhaps my words are not the right ones to get back what I am looking for.

I also have the desire to write; but I only have one story in my head and I don't think it is a story I should tell just yet I don't even know how it ends yet.

My ultimate desires no longer feel unattainable and forbidden to me, and I am finally letting go of the thoughts that these things will be taken away from me the moment I let myself hope for them. I still a little awkward just being in my own skin, but ultimately I think I can let go of the railing.

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Poveri Jesse ha tagliato

Last night I watched a beautiful movie, which had beautiful people in it and had beautiful costumes. It was called 'One knight with the king". I have to admit there were a few things that caught my attention in the negative, the biblical story that this movie was based on there were a few things they missed out (though as technically it was based on a book; which was based on the biblical perhaps there is a good reason for this). I am not sure what the budget was like for this movie; it did have the most beautiful costumes (though some characters looked a little ungainly in them) how ever in one scene I think I caught a glimpse of a price tag on the underneath of a cup... ok, if the person hadn't drunk out of it I wouldn't have seen it, then again I might be incorrect and need my eyes fixed.

My biggest complaint is that the character of Jesse (played by Jonah Lotan) I think should have had a much larger coverage. I realise that in giving his story more coverage the rating might of changed; but he lost a lot in this story and I don't think his loss is compensated for. I would have much rather not seen Haman's story and the rest of the intrigue of the court and seen more of Jesse. He is almost forgotten about and considering the relationship he had with Hadassah at the beginning of the movie I think it is totally unfair. I also think it is unfair that I can only find one picture of him in the movie... and it is off the back of his head!!!

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I'll succhiare la vostra, se succhiare miniera ...

So Klara turned head to foot and put her most
unmentionable part down on his hard-breathing nose and mouth and
took his old battering ram into her lips.

As a writer it does interest me occasionally the different awards that are handed out and today I was sent an article on the bad sex in fiction award.Personally I would be appalled with myself if I was to receive this award, but I have to admit I think that little bit that was posted with the comment, "...leaves little to the imagination." was really quite creatively written. Especially when you consider that the author has recently moved to realm of the muses at the age of 84.

I am not sure why he got awarded the prize; unless of course the scene falls apart further on; or that it's description is such that people can visualise what is happening so clearly that they a disconcerted by bodily reactions I am not sure.

I have not read a lot of this sort of thing; but at least I know what they are doing. Far to often it is written with a seeming veil draped over the seen and you end up with, I know the characters had sex for the last three pages; but I have no clue what so ever as too how.

Norman Mailer has been tasteful with his description in the above extract, but we still know what he is describing. And for his vintage I can imagine his peers would be appalled. I have read much more crass a versions for this position.

Only other thing I can think of is from that little extract the 'battering ram" suggests ugly; and "unmentionable" suggests prude. Ugly people and prudes do have sex... and sometimes like in this case they do it together. I think I would like to read the rest of this book/scene and try a little more of his work.

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Iniezione di cancro cervicale

It was suggested to me yesterday; not for the first time that I should go get this injection that is to prevent cervical cancer. I tried very hard for this person to understand that such a suggestion should receive a reply such as "get bent".

I realise that this is a drug for women to prevent us getting cervical cancer; and is being promoted as a good thing. I think it is too soon. I don't think we are aware of the potential long term consequences of this drug. I mean smoking were promoted as healthy for you when it came out and look what we say about it now. I am not about to get jabbed with something now that a few years down the track will be proven to be the potential ruin of my 'sons' lives. Before Della again suggests that my vagina feeling it is being speculated upon; and my hormones are screaming "fertilise me fertilise me" let me continue.

Not so many years ago women were given a certain drug during pregnancies to help with morning sickness or something. It was later discovered that oops, this drug 'causes deformities and was taken off the doctors list. It was promoted as a good thing but it screwed up lives. Correct me if I am wrong... the cervix is the same area, that place that men don't have because they are men; and where our sons kinda materialise. It is a very precious place and should be cared for. Altering that place could have huge ramifications down the line, anyone that has my blood running through it's veins could have the problems this drug might 'cause... Until I know the only thing my sons will get from it is that they will be born circumsized instead of au natural (good thing for a proper Jew; or a women that wants her son's snipped and husband doesn't), I am not going to encourage anyone to do it.

And why is it that women under 25/26 get it for free; are we to dumb to question the possibilities? You can get cervical cancer at any age. Anyway it is my cervix and I'll do what I think is best for it; I am not letting it be part of a huge science project just for them to turn around and say oops. I got enough stuff to pass on to my sons then to add a new science mistake to the list and have all my offspring's offspring's offspring screwed for life.

Yes all the tests say it is ok; but that is what they have said before. I have the source of life clapped between my thighs and I am not going to mess with it, I would rather get cervical cancer and die; then create problems for everyone after me.

Il mio Dio è un Dio geloso

Theytell me that there is no room for jealousy in love. I do not believe that I am totally comfortable with that idea. My God is a jealous God, and he loves me. I was never told jealous meant anything different in Greek or Hebrew or whatever it was written in. It means we don't want to share with anyone else. If my God loves me and is jealous; why can't we? I am not saying that a lover would lock a partner in a closet and never let them spend time with others, but why can't you have the desire not to share that person with anyone else?


I am the queen of not sharing, or so says my family. So why would I want to share my partner? I want only me and him. If I had to share him with another woman, I would be jealous. I don't intend to tattoo his bum with "property of...", I want him to do what he wants, but honestly, in the end, I want him to go home to me.

I want him also to be too jealous about me. (Also not wanting my bum tattoo'ed)

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Per aiutarmi a leggere e scrivere in italiano

Non preoccuparti, non hai risvegliato e scoperto non puoi leggere. Ho pensato che divertirmi a giocare oggi di essere italiano. Ho messo in una traduzione in inglese di seguito. Alcune delle modifiche sono permanenti, come le rubriche (si spera) e la barra laterale. Se volete sapere di che cosa si dice, il traduttore di Google sulla sinistra hanno bisogno di aiuto. Ti prego di perdonare il mio cattivo inglese/italiano. Grazie

Donot worry, you have not awakened and discovered you can not read. I thought it fun to play today to be Italian. I put in a translation into English below. Some of the changes are permanent, such as headings (hopefully) and the sidebar. If you want to know what they say, the Google translator on the left need help. Please forgive my poor English/Italian. Thanks

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Histories

I was given a sneak peak into an old blog today. I like old thoughts; there are so many stories there. It is all snatches of thoughts and little bits of feeling. All kinda rambling not nailed down with any details.

I didn't know this person then like I do now. Though as I read I think I would have liked to. I think we would have had some interesting fights... err I mean discussions. Kinda do feel a little like I am prying into the blogs owners secret life; not that they said I couldn't look; though did say I would get stressed and they didn't want me to get stressed. I am not stressed but I got like a million requests for stories now, that you probably don't remember also probably some of those strange questions you seem to fear.

It is interesting though to see some of the places you have changed a little. For someone who was saying you didn't live by rules you had a lot for everyone else. An I would really like to know who it was that you looked at that scared you because you realised they were looking into you; and you into them... I know there are lots more things I want to ask and say about it; but I can't remember off the top of my head.

Thank you for letting me see it though; I know it is a blog and so other people have seen it before me, but I don't see you write like that now. Still it was kinda likes being in a large dark cavern and in it a large pool of water; you can't see where the pool ends. It isn't scary or cold you don't have to be there you could leave and it not make a difference, it's kinda safe and peaceful there though. I just dipped my toes in the water though; but I would like to know what is on the other side of the pool; I don't think I would get lost any more...

How dumb did that last bit sound....

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Dreaming plans

Yesterday I rashly applied for another job; and with in 1/2 an hour I had an interview. Please note that this is through an agency and from previous experience they don't actually reply let alone get back so quickly particularly when you aply by e-mail and send your resume that way. Kinda a little surprised by it all; anyway I have an interview this afternoon (told present job I am seeing a doctor).

Anyway this morning I trawlled the internet job sites looking at other job offers. Looked at other positions like my own (I didn't apply to another one) then for amusement I had a look at the IT positions, I found one that that made specific requests for certain computer knowledge. Scarily of the list of about 10 things there was only 2 I had not played with. They wanted someone with papers and experience which I don't have and I am not really confident using a few of the ones I can do (as I am always getting them checked and tweaked). I didn't apply but it was really odd looking at it thinking that if I do this IT course in that area; I could triple my present income like straight away.

Kinda cool that thought, could move out to my own place afford a deposit on a house sooner (i.e. 1 year at home would get me the saving equivalent of 3 years (if I am not dumb with my money) But to do all this sooner then later; I would want to do full time study (3 years) part-time is like double that time; feels like so far away and I want to be out of home now... well at least if I was to get this new job; I would get a substantial pay rise.... even if my ideas become plans; that is more saving money.

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Heart-Brain

I have to admit that when I got the link to this interview with Joseph Chilton Pearce; I didn't really think it was going to be any good; so I kinda scrolled over it and read snippets that really stood out. The problem was the more snippets I read the more interested I became. I got the link at 7:00 this morning and it is now 2:53 and I have just finished it; no it isn't that long, nor am I an excessively slow reader; I did have to work also during this time.

It has lots of really good points and kinda runs along with a lot of my ideas about dragging up kids; tv and the likes. Except this comes with science and research to back it up.

Really it is kinda stuff you shouldn't need to prove it is instinct level; or at least it should be (I think anyway). Read it; I loved it you might too.

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Parlo en Poco Italiano!

What do you call it when you aren't dreaming in Italian; but you are defenatly practicing your Italian words your sleep? I think my subconscious is learning faster then I am I listen everyday and go over and over them; I only just moved onto cd2 yesterday. If my subconscious gets to practice during the night as well it just isn't fair, I'll never keep up.

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Vote 1 for Moron!

was scrolling through lifehacker this morning to see what I might of missed and stumbled upon a help to vote link. If I had of known it would have told me how to fill out the stupid piece of paper depending on my answers to the quiz; I might of done it sooner. I have actually voted, great thing religion and voting conflict when it comes to choosing a day to vote. So postal voting it is; I voted and sent it of... there are similariities in my results to what I voted; I put the same ones last as they suggested.

You might find this makes the chore easier for you or have a go just for fun anyway

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I CAN'T DO FREAKING EVERYTHING!!!

If you wonders why I require things like my diary to keep track of everything, it is not so that I can be organized; it is so I don't have to deal with shite like I am about to face this weekend. I have a jam packed Saturday ahead; with if I am lucky I will have 1.5 hours at home in which I will eat and get changed. I already squashed someone's plans for partying all Saturday afternoon were I would be expected to help. Well the party is still going ahead just with different people, I won't necessarily be expected to help out this time but I will be expected to eat with them. Here is the delemia the church I will be attending is well known for running late and it is a big event day so it is likely to run even later. So if I get home by 1 I will be glad. I also need to be back at my church by 2:15 at the latest which means I need to leave at 2.

1 hour to get dressed into a full dress uniform (this includes scrounging through the house looking for all the little parts of it) and eating. As the 'party' will be having a leisurely lunch I can't do that too

ARGH!!!

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Women Speak 101

Lesson 1
When purchasing furniture like objects consider your significant other and how comfortable they would be in the item. Will he dissapear between the cushions on that couch an not be retrieved for 3 days; Will he have to sleep with his knees halfway up his nose in that bed?
Do not discuss with partner or take them shopping

Lesson 2
When considering long term drastic life changes; plan them organise them; but don't tell partner, even though it involves them. It will be too soon, you might frighten him.

Lesson 3
Must know what other people want before they know what they want. Do not give it to them until after they have asked for it.

Lesson 4
Assume motives and attributes (ie 'your a slut') for a person and tell them often but tomorrow tell them how proud they are that you did something that goes against what they were assuming ignore however that they did it over six months ago and you only found out today.

If these make any sense you to I feel very sorry for you. So glad I am my fathers daughter, I missed these classes and now my education is trying to be amended. Little late I think and I am greatful; I can't logically make sense of any of them.

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2008

I realise it is only November; but I have started to fill out my holidays for next year. This past year has made me realise how far in advance I have to be planing. Espacially as in the last 6 months I got a little slack and people booked me into more then one event at a time. Already I have months almost totally booked up and I have yet to add in the regular things rather then just the incidentals. As far as I know I have all birthdays marked in and time marked to be kept free for special birthdays that will require travelling or whole days to be kept free so that they can be celebrated.


Also started thinking into the fast approaching distant future. Makes me feel like I am in limbo unable to make concrete decisions about it at the moment and having to wait until the time knocks on my door to decide. Provided of course these do knock on my door and I don't wander off down a side track....

Anyway if you want time marked out to hang out; you got to get in now

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Life Manual

I would like a life manual please; I want to be able to look up stupid person and be given the steps which might be taken to get me on the right track. There are so many things I don't understand and things I want to be able to understand. There are things I want to do and I don't know how and to make it harder I don't know what needs to be fixed... it's like playing hide and seek in your own head; and you know how frustrating that can be.

How should decisions be made? should they be practical thought out things or emotive made? What is the one the style that should be used for everything? Do I make the choice about who to love and what car I will buy the same way? If not why?

I want all the hard questions answered; what is trust? Does it have to be in everything? If you lose it or break it where can you get more?

I want a step by step guide for the difficult things. How do you change what you know into what you believe? I know there is a God; but how did I go from that to beliving there is a God? Did I make him jump through hoops? Like "God I will believe in your existence if you find me a car spot..." I found a car spot, now did I find it, did God make it for me, or was it a conisidence?

I don't know the answers to all of the above and many more. I want answers, nay I need answers I am tired of imagining Damaclys's sword.

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vampire like suction

On the inside of my arm I presently have 2 (technically 3) rather large puffy dark bruises. Despite the rumour circulated by close friends; this are not love bites (dunno how I would feel about going out with someone with the suction capabilities to create these) I got these from the string of a freshly fired bow.

Yes I said bow; as in bow and arrow. Yes I was allowed near the potentially deadly weapon and allowed to fire it. It was so much fun. I would take it up as a sport properly; except that I don't think it would help the girth of my bum any. As much as I would like to say I am a natural and that I fired every round successfully and hit my targets with unnervingly accurate aim, I didn't, but I had lots of fun. Even though I don't really have the elbows for it (lets just say my elbows lock further back then yours do) I want to do it again and really soon...

Wanna come with me?

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Nerds night light

I woke up this morning absolutely positive that I was the third day into the week. Yesterday was so long my head has broken it into 2 days and it feels like such a long time since it was the weekend. I want it still to be weekend; being that it was so much fun.

Most of you would be aware that like most people I have the ability to age by one year upon a set date every year. This is a special time for me, where people are known to give me gifts and do special things for me. This time started with the arrival of my favourite personage on Friday afternoon; and basically closed with the same personage leaving Monday morning. I was given wonderful gifts, a mouse and keyboard that match my new computer (black with silver and blue lights) and Italian learning cd's; and some jewellery. All of which are wonderful and have really encouraged me to age again next year, Though I think the company was the bestest gifts of alls.

My keyboard has though decided upon it's self that unless all power is cut from the computer it is never going to shut down; so it has turned my little office space into a no shooting up area; complete with permanent blue light. I have never had a night light before; and it is taking getting used to but it is not so bad; and it also means I can find my bed clothes in the night when they slide off which I have found to be a really good thing.

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I wants back...

This has to be the longest day in history; I only worked for half of it so that should have made it a fast day. But no I was thinking It must be getting close to 3:30; but no, it was barely even 1:00!!!

Sure I did a few things that would make my day different and I didn't follow to my schedule that I normal follow on a weekday; but still this day has taken for ever to happen... And I didn't even want to get past the morning!!!

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Book Muncher

I unpacked my library this morning... I couldn't sleep work up really early (wonder why that was) anyway I desided for a change I would move my non fiction to the bigger bookcase and put the fiction in the little one and also in what was left of the big one. It was no surprise to me that in moving the non fiction to the bigger case that it only took up a couple of shelves; how ever

SOMEONE HAS BEEN EATING MY BOOKS!!!

What was once a full and over flowing two case library, has lots of missing books!!! I am not going to point any fingers yet as I have no clue as to whom they should be pointed at; but I have shelves that are empty!

It can't be just that I have rearranged things; I had books coming out my ears before and now I have huge spaces... Other then being non fiction and fiction I haven't put them in their correct order but that shouldn't matter they kinda weren't any more anyway. Leave that for when I have koha up and running right.

But I feel like the pride of my heart has had a big chunk eaten out of it... they must be somewhere.

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Mobile Phone

Was looking at my phone today; I broken the cover and whilst everything still works, the cover being broken how it is makes it difficult to move the camera about and it dosn't lock when I flip it open; so I was thinking now the majority of my past projects are complete; I might build myself a new cover for my phone; perhaps redesign it a little too. It is a little LG U8360 and I am off to see what I can do with it.

Watch this space for updates on my project... here is one someone made earlier.

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Sim Update

Latest update, a new family has joined the neighbourhood, Ruby and Chris, they are a married couple. Also married are Peter and Karina; Uni sweethearts... and Kat and Glen, ...love at first hug. Thought you might like to see some more footage of them. so here goes. This is footage from Kat and Glen's home. Kat doing a rendition as a lamp shade (now married and running flat chat chasing the twins she hasn't done this in a while).... and some footage of Glen fighting Kat's ex (note: Kat did not break up with her ex before she got married; and she invited the ex to the wedding he walked in on them whoohooing to make the twins)Sadly as you will see Glen lost and I did find him crying about it for a while; but his little girls have really taken his mind off the past.

Yes the families are now breeding. Glen and Kat have twin daughters, Winter-rain and Summer-Sky. Ruby and Chris have a daughter Dejay and a son Martin and will probably continue breeding until they get to old to do so anymore. And Peter and Karina had a daughter Peta-Daniella. Not enough enough boys to really start the inter breeding; but Martin is a start and prehaps there will be more boys.

Whining Mules

Would you like to know what irritates me a lot. People who look at the current situation and deciding that I am doing things for a reason that suits them. Their reason being incorrect and they stupid arrogant mules who can not be told other wise.

Take for instance my room. I have been planing it for months and finally have actually done the painting. Took 2 weeks but it is done. The mules have got it into their head that I have done it so that a visitor that is coming to our place can see it. If this was the case I would have had to start a lot earlier; do to the fact I am a lazy little person and now I have painted I can garentee it is going to take me months to unpack my room. Yes it is painted; but it is going to be trashed by boxes for a very long time; so the visitor isn't really going to get a good look anyway.

Recently as you might be aware I have off handedly started to learn Italian properly. The mules have decided I am learning it for good impression reasons; totally ignoreing the fact I have kinda been trying to learn it for years; I'd just recently found a free language tutor online; so I could take a step up from watching movies in Italian with English subtitles.

Why do people always assume there has to be a hidden agenda? I realise that these 2 examples fit neatly into the mules designs for my future. But is it to hard to fathom that I might be doing it for fun? Or finally turning my ideas into actions? Wait silly me; I must have an agenda with which to manipulate people with.

While I am whinging about stupid mules, "Stop Planning my wedding! I am no where near even considering the event and Your not going to be in it anyway!"

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Windows Dumb Arses!

I bought a nice cd this afternoon. Lots of soft sweet songs that I like. Anyway took it back to work to put it on the computer so I can listen to it when I am there. Well the problems that has 'caused. I have always considered windows to be the idiots operating System and that that idiots are taken into account when Windows is designing their stuff. Well this is not to be the case in the use of Windows media player. what I bought was a double cd, so I put the first cd and it ripped the cd; the names and everything matching (I was to find out this wasn't the case but I will get to that). Then I put the second cd in... it ripped but the names didn't change; suddenly there was John Farnham singing your the voice and windows media claiming that it was westlife singing you raise me up; and you raise me up by westlife was no where to be seen. Got that kinda sorted out then looked at the titles... there were 17 songs on cd one as usual; but song 3 and 4 weren't there; there was however 2 songs called I hope you dance. and a song that wasn't even on the cd; and Last I checked my spelling (yes I am aware I can't spell) throw was spelt without a U, it is spelt T-H-R-O-W not t-h-r-o-u-w!!! grr grr grr; once I got cd 1 sorted out I discovered that though when I put cd 2 they showed the song titles for cd 2 now; they still had the artists of the cd 1. I was so fed up I ripped it as is but so irritated what moron put that together?!?!

I consider myself to be some what computer competent, I wonder what someone not as skilled as myself would do. Honestly it is a bloody mine field someone might die. So much for idiot proof.

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Soft Chocolatey Goodness

The Heavenly goodness of profiteroles. Not as healthy as Caramel apples but just as yummy. You can fill them with savoury or sweet, or even have them empty. The biggest and best profiteroles I have ever had are by Pie in the Sky in Erina. They are so good you'll almost never find any there. So you got to get in early or make a special order. For delicious bite sized profiteroles; you can't go past the french Kitchen in Castle Hill. They sell party foods for doing your own catering. So they come in a box full of them in 3 different types; don't let the white topped ones fool you; They are deliciously yummy. If you find yourself in possession of a box, I dare you to stop at eating just one... wait I will be nice you can have one of each flavour, bet you can't do it you have to have more! In fact I feel like I would like one right now...

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Pretend voyeristic god

Please my sims from left to right; Karina, Peter, Kathryn and Glen. They all started uni together. Karina studied to be a scientist; Peter to be natural scientist; Kathryn to be a chef and Glen to be a police man. They had a marvoulous time studying so they could get better chance at their chosen profession.


Some had a better times then others; for instance Kathryn was regularily know to break out in uncontrolable sobbing for no apparent reason. They tried to burn down their home twice the second of which pushed the some what difficult and grumpy Glen over the edge where he did the chicken strut tohelp him recover. He never really did recover from it though and was occasionally seen to have a realapse where he thought a bag of flour was his baby.

They did how ever graduate finally; much to my relief and have moved out into their own homes to start grown up lives of marriage, jobs, woohoo, babies and much more. Stay tuned for another update of what they get up to in their adult lives.

frustration building

I am getting very irritated at the moment; and not by thing people are doing. About a year ago I went to the doctor, I was always tired. I was absolutely positive that he was going to just tell me I needed more sleep. He told me I had a small allergy to dust (explained the constant sneezing and sore eyes whenever I cleaned my room) and my iron was slightly low. So I was put on a run of iron for a month. No big deal, things seemed to perk right up I was awake again.

Problem is it is back I self medicated with a few runs of iron and nothing. The iron isn't helping, in fact these days I feel like I don't have the energy even for emotions. I know I am very happy at the moment. The feeling that the other shoes is about to drop has gone away and I am very content, but except for exceptional excitement I don't feel it or even express it. An when I do it is like being on coke (the drink) and panadol at the same time again. Admittedly without the low afterwards.

In the back of my head I think there is something wrong. I am eating right (even got a nutritionist handling that) and i am getting enough sleep. I am also happy and content not something I have generally felt before. But how do I snap out of it? What is a doctor going to do? From what I can tell there isn't anything physically wrong with me.

Did I mention caffeine seems to help; but the after effects of that are horrible.

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Heaven on a stick

When I found this website today I thought I had found heaven on a stick. And well almost I have. Caramel apples, Yummy sugary yummyness on an apple. It is like the perfect balance between health food and junk food. As a child these were forbiden delacasies that you almost had to bribe a parent for. It is the best way in the planet to eat an apple; and you can do it with out being the dork eating an apple on a stick. You can get hard toffee apples too usually in green or red, they are nice too; but I like the soft chewy caramel of a caramel apple best. I don't see them around to often sadly; but right now I would really really like one... Anyone know where i can get one in Sydney?

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Splish Splash!

I GOT PAINT!!!

LOTS AND LOTS OF PAINT!!!

SO MUCH PAINT THAT i COULD PAINT A FOOTBALL FIELD.....

Ok so not that much, enough to paint my room, in all the colours... I have the white green for the roof 2 litres matt sheen. Green for the walls 4 litres in matt sheen and poinsettia red for the cornices and window 2 litres in a low sheen. Isn't it great!

I still have half a room to pack up but I am going to have so much fun on Sunday. Plan A stay on task. Plan B get kicked in the butt if I get distracted and don't finish what I started, can't sleep in the spare room for ever, other people wanna stay there too.

Also picked out my bed last night; very nice now to choose a mattress... they did try to convince me I want this really nice one that was $999. There was a very good reason it was the price; so very comfy, but I only need a basic comfy one. I had the one I have for like 23 years; so I would find a cheap durable one quite suitable.

Fun fun fun room has now had money put out for it so it is officially under way at last!

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Peeling Paint

Not sure whether I have been paid any attention too, but I finally got a little off my chest today about a friend that has been bothering me for sometime. In one view I quite possibly ripped shreds from her and made sever emotional damage if I have; I would apologise, but I don't think I would be sorry. Someone was going to have to say it at some point preferably before she did something completely stupid. An I am that long standing stupid friend that gets fed up with it and asks kindly for them to pull their lip over the head and to please swallow.

I tried to be kinda but I was kinda tired of holding my tongue so I might of done it a little unkindly. But the facts as I saw it were as such an I figured she needed to know. I would love to be able to say I been there I done that; but I can't. When I was there doing that I knew why I was. I still have no clue about why she does it.

Hopefully I haven't made things worse for other people around her. I was trying to assist, not make things worse.

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Me Smarty Pants; you Jane

It has been a long while since I have bothered to sit down and watch some tv. Last night I found myself with a little extra time and thought I might sit in front of the brain musher and see what was around. I watched criminal minds, and I didn't finish it. I decided when all the penny's dropped and they were chasing the bad guy and the chick went alone into the big bad dark shed that I didn't want to know what was going to happen. Yes it is tv there is almost always happy endings but I didn't wanna know just in case.

Decided now that I don't think regular tv is good for me. I need to be able to stop it when my imagination gets carried away with me. Me and TV probably haven't always had a very good relationship. I am not separate from the story shown in the TV I am in it... so if the character is nervous you can beat my heart is racing and I am wishing I could hide. Last night was the first time I have turned it off probably not very good for my imagination; usually I have to watch it to the end so I know it is over and all ok. If I don't watch to the end my imagination tells me the bad guy is still out there and gonna get me.

Anyway slept with the light on just in case... feel like silly small child but you do what you got to do. on a good note.... DHL says "keep an eye on your package"... maybe it is my twisted little mind that say's I don't have a package but I'll watch 'his'... is this voyeurism selling?

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Better Start

If you are wondering about my state education at the moment you might be interested to know I have not yet finished anything since HSC (and even then I didn't try and finish that it just happened). So therefore you will be interested to know I am still one assignment away from completing a statement of attainment in writing (it is on my unconnected computer, I'll send it off I promise) and I have just been accepted in to SCU for a BaIT (Bacholars in Information Technology). Not exactly option 1 (the uni not the course) but it is a start; once in I could probably transfer anywhere not that anywhere is where I was planing to move.

on other good notes my nation is now at 2.112 billion people; http://www.nationstates.net/kaisadungeon if you want to have a look. I am very proud of it.
And my neopet is also still alive so that too is a good thing.

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So very bored

I had hoped that my holiday would have made me glad to be back at work. Had sort of figured I was just tired and needed a short break. Unfortunately it turns out this is not actually so. In fact I am bored at my job. I have been at this job for 1.5 years and would seriously consider getting a new job; except that well I sort of got plans for my future, as sketchy as they are and this job will help me get there; well not actually help me; but it will give me money to be able to do the things I am considering. I am tired of being the menial task person especially when they can do it themselves.

Maybe I should just get my act together get all the boring double no triple handled filing done and then I can get back to my programming project I have set myself.

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God's Jigsaw puzzle

Was looking at the 360 degree angles of myself not sure that I was exactly pleased with the truth of what I obviously look like. God must have had fun piecing me together. Where my back and legs meet he has grafted on my fathers bum; where my head and neck kinda meet he's plastered on my mothers chin. He's given me fair skin so that scars are not easily visible but stretch marks look like windows into my body expressing themselves in the colours of my internals. He's stretched out my body to make me appear (at least to my self) not as fat as I am; and then thrust underneath it short stocky legs to support it all to the end of which he attached long narrow feet and didn't put the toes on straight. He gave me nice feminine hands and unembarrassing forearms and he screwed them on to large blubber filled shopping bag like upper arms. Upon my face he has put a large dash of freckles and the ability to turn red faced quickly. I have a forehead that can support a fringe or no fringe what ever takes the fancy at the time then I was gifted tiny eyes mouth and nose which he pushed into large cheeks.

I am not going to go into how I have made it worse; but in the end at least I suppose he's also set into someone's head that all that is beautiful and they want it.

Thanks for all the pic's of the trip Sparky!

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I am Back!

First day back at work since that joyous occasion 10 days ago where I took off for my holiday. Much to my sadness holidays are now over and I have got to get back to the making money side of life. My next holiday is not until Christmas; and I think I am now going to be counting down the weeks. I believe I still have 3 days up my sleeve if I was going to try for another break but with Christmas only 2 months away (plus a little) I think it would be kinda inconsiderate of me to take them off. Also it would presently appear I need to save those days for early next year when my friend is having her baby she has asked me to come up and see it.

Anyway the holiday was a great break. I didn't spend copious amounts of time with people that annoyed me; nor did I have to defend my food dump from scabbers; in fact I didn't have a food dump to defend.

I also got to spend time with my favourite person which made it a really great time. I am missing my favourite person already and plans to see them again are now under way.

And camping in a tent filled with males is not all that bad; I survived it quite well much to the amusement of one when he discovered I thought it was going to be difficult. When I get pic's developed I will contemplate posting them... we'll see...

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Camping

I stand on the threshold of a holiday. Between me and said holiday is 13 hours of work. I look ahead and I already want to be on holidays. Having serious thoughts about pretending to be sick for 8 hours of that work time and start my holiday early.

I have mixed feelings about the holiday. It has been a while since I have been to the event I am considering attending an it is believed to be a large social highlight. I have friends which are attending that seem to think I will be hanging with them all the time; sadly I would rather cut my fingers off with nail clippers then spend the whole time with them. Also have small fear that I am going to be protecting my food dump from scabbers.

It will be a trip of new experiences. I am sharing my quarters with somewhere between 1 and 5 males (presently the count is at 3 I think now). One of them is encouraging the theory that men fart scratch etc. in their sleep, not sure that this is something I am looking forward to discovering.


Also kinda hoping my favourite person doesn't not come at the last minute being as they just decided they would.

Will have fun; but I wanna be on holidays now!

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Short and Sweet

Things are all good in my world at the moment. Little bit of stress lately but that has kinda simmered down last bit will go after the weekend. Totally packing it about this weekend. Well actually not packed. going on a hiking trip this weekend. Closest I wanna get to a near death experience.

I got to go home early pack and get there... cross fingers I survive... I think I am to young to die still but I told the people in charge to bring a coffin just incase.

Was actually going to build a little ply wood one; but I didn't get time.

Oh and I have messed up google somehow... anyone know how I might of switched google to italian? It is the work computer, so I kinda need to switch it back

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Todays Post

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WaSaBEE!!!

You when you were a kid and you hated olives but your parents loved them and told you that you just had to acquire a taste for them. An now you can eat them and you don't feel you want to throw them up. In fact you think they are really nice in pizza or a jatz with cheese. Until today I really didn't understand how you were supposed to achieve this. What it means is learn to not pull a face when in company, chew and swallow, and once you have mastered that shovel as much of it into your mouth until you like it.

For all the food experimenting I have done, I still can not bring myself to salmon. I don't like it raw, I don't like it smoked, I don't like it steamed, I don't like it backed you could even smother it in cheese and deep fry it and I still don't like it. I have managed to master the don't pull a face in company as certain family members like the stuff and feed it to me every time we visit. I will not how ever ever master the shovel it in till you like it.

Today I did learn a little trick for salmon sushi. Don't get me wrong I adore sushi, just the salmon ones are icky and you will always find them. Wasabi is a great gift to horrid salmon sushi. When you feel you can no longer maintain your composer dip the edge of your sushi into the wasabi, If you like wasabi drown the little bugger in it. Then put it in your mouth, the ensuing facial expressions can be blamed on the really hot wasabi and not on the horrid food, people will understand. On a really good day the flames pouring out your mouth and nose will really clear up that sinus problem you were having as an added bonus.

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Sex Sells?

Was driving home from work the other day and I saw a an on the side of a bus stop. It was hot pink with bold print on it. The print said Stimulation Between The Sheets. In the quick glance I could not see what it was actually trying to sell me. So the next day whilst I was stopped at traffic lights near the sign again I had another look. down at the bottom taking up not to much space on the sign was a rolled up news paper. Not just any news paper but the Australian Financial Review.

Maybe it is just me; but if you reckon your going to get more sex by buying and reading the Australian Financial Review. I think you need then a little more help. It is supposed to be a factual piece of media all about money and stuff like the stock exchange. Only way it is likely to get you laid is by attracting a gold digger who will leave you when she finds out you don't have any money.

Best thing to do is read it for the information you want and then line the bird cage with it.

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Attention All Gentlemen

Or not so gentlemen.

If you think the sight of bare womens breasts are a wonderful sight and would like to see more of them in public; please come to NSW we are about to have more in public.

From what I understand NSW is about to put a ban on the ban of women breast feeding in public. Not sure exactly how breastfeeding is actually ruled upon however. Does it mean only one breast can be exposed at once? In that case what about twins and dual feeding. Does it mean it can only be exposed when someone is feeding upon it, is there an age limit for the breast feeder, or can 4 year olds and husbands feed in public also? Is there a time limit on how long can the breast be exposed? Can we all walk around with a boob hanging out because well we'll breast feed at some point, maybe not today or even this year, but soon.

I realise that all this points are kind of stupid; but honestly I do not agree with the ban of the ban. I do not see this as an equality for women. I can only see this as another step down for us. It is not equality, it is another of the secret women's business being put on public display. You won't see ads for men's condoms on TV during prime time viewing; but you'll see ad's for women's sanitary products. Congratulations yes, it is a natural thing for women to breastfeed (and bleed); but this does not mean it should put it on display. I am tired of having my secrets out on public display; in fact I dunno that there are any left.

At one time we were women; we mystified men, and they desired to know our secret's. Now we are PMS driven milking cows that walk on two legs.

Therefore gentlemen, if you like the sight of a naked, large, milk heavy breast and don't mind possibly seeing a mouth clamped tightly upon it. Please visit NSW we are about to get a lot of them. But don't expect to see mine; they are not for public viewing.

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Expression

Made another discovery today one that has been staring me in the face for a very long time; but I had to do one of those little quizzes for it to stand out properly. For a long time people have raved and rave about the five love languages. As the large portion of my close acquaintances are navel gazes we have analysed each other and decided what we all were and that. I could never seem to figure out what I was nor find one that fitted comfortably. They decided I was quality time. I didn't have a better suggestion so I went with it.

It was however almost a horrible discovery that according to a test I did, my love language is touch. You might ask why this is a horrible discovery. I don't like being touched. If I don't know you, don't like you, don't trust you, I do not want to be touched by you. I get creepy crawlies all over and I bristle like an frightened cat.

Though as I thought about it more when I am in under extreme stress, it seems to be the thing I crave the most. If I could picture what I wanted most at those times I just want to be held by people I know, like and trust.

Not sure why I am a walking oxymoron at the moment, everyone I know would tell you I don't do touch, and I need training to do it as I don't do it very well. Will get back to you when I figured out the how come.

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I QUIT!!!

You don't actually care. If your not going to care go away an leave me alone. Take your well meaning advice giving voices with you... I am trying to be happy and your ruining it on me!!!

You all suck; I know I haven't go it all sorted out and headed the right way. But it is what I want!!!

Boun giorno, Mi chiamo Kaisa

Having harboured a naughty little secret for some time I thought I would see if I could push my interest that little bit further.

I like watching movies in Italian with English subtitles. In fact I think I have watched every dvd I own that has that option at least 3 times this way. Makes for interesting viewing when you are watching musicals as sometimes they sing in English and sometimes in Italian.

Anyway with the help of Mango Languages I have decided to learn to talk it properly, rather than pick up an occasional phrase here and there. Especially as most of them have been swearing (well the English subtitle said it was) and swearing in Italian at only English speakers is pretty much a waste of time; much like signing swear words at them in proper sign language (yes I have tried that too). So far I completed 2 lessons.

Salve, Come sta
Bene, mi chiamo Marco
Come si chiama
Mi Chiamo Maria
Piacere di conoscerla
Il piacere e mio
Arrivederci

That was lesson 1 please forgive my spelling as I can't spell to well in English as it is and I am new to Italian. I did try and learn mandarin but that was so hard, so I thought I would go back to my more favourite. I only learnt it whilst I was having fun last night and I was surprised that I could still remember it all this morning. I quite possibly have bad pronunciation and a horrible accent but I might learn enough to get in trouble should I actually use it in a conversation. Having also just looked up in an Italian dictionary, it's true... they have a lot of words for love... from sesso to volere bene... I don't' think I will manage to learn them all. But it is worth a try... must find someone to practice on... does anyone speak Italian?

For now

Con affetto Kaisa

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Dodge Town

Amongst a few different discoveries I have made over the past few days I made on about myself that has concerned me a little. I have a really thick pessimistic streak in me. Throw that in with a strong does of stubbornness and I can pretty much convince myself of a lot of negative things. I always seem to keep telling myself to wait for the other shoe to drop. Things are great at the moment; but I am sitting here waiting for the bad stuff to come... not including the bad stuff I am about to create... If I am going to create the bad stuff I tend to enjoy it; well maybe not enjoy it; more like the challenge I am giving myself. Remind me I said that by the way when I create deep trouble for myself.

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Not Pinochio!

I have a small little gripe lately. It is only a little thing but it is starting to bug me again. Family members and close acquaintances are once again trying to encourage me to go out and actively find myself a boyfriend. Yes I know I have not yet been claimed as someone's girlfriend. I also am aware that I am in my mid twenties and have still not had a boyfriend. In fact in all those years no male has really actually shown any interest in me.

I am kinda happy with the way things are. Sure I wake up some mornings and wish my life was different/better. But I am generally content. Am I not good enough just as I am? Why is it so important that I rush out and grab me a man right now? Worse yet is when they are trying to sets me up with one of their choosing. An should I tell them I had a boyfriend they would want to see him, meet him, talk to him... An presently I would really loath having them and him in the same building. It isn't that I wouldn't like him enough etc, but suddenly they would be trying to run the relationship for me. The day I hear " you and (insert male's name) should go and do (insert activity) tonight." or anything of that sort of advice I will wants to scream at them.

I want to run a relationship (and possibly stuff it up) on my own (the guy can help). I don't want to be pushed into dating someone because I should be I don't want to have the people around me running the relationship from behind the scenes, next I'll know I'd be marrie
d with 2 kids and one on the way and no freaking idea what I am doing.

I am not a puppet on strings. I want to be able to wreak my own life!!!

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In closing

You might be interested to know that my new modem has arrived. Luckily I like being at work early so I was there when he delivered as he came before we were 'officially' open. I also received a call from the unwired company in regards to my complaint letter. They have given me a month of free Internet in apology for the mess up. So presently my day is unfolding quite well.

I also picked up my ring from prouds on Sunday it looks very nice on my hand; well I think so anyway. It is themed just like my ring on the other hand so they go together quite well; though it makes my older ring look a little chunky now but that doesn't matter. Should probably get the old one cleaned so that it looks as new as the new one.

Had a good weekend walked the harbour bridge and went to family dinner on Saturday. Where dad threatened that should my sister or myself bring home a boyfriend to meet the family. He'd met him at the door with a carving knife and steel. He doesn't have a carving knife he says he'll get one special for the occasion. I don't think he'd do it, he's just teasing... we'll I don't think he'd do it to the guy they first time they meet. I am pretty confident that they would be on good behaviour (well as good as the family can be) should any of us bring home a partner. Yet it kinda makes me a little nervous about doing it. I seen what they have done to visitors we've invited to lunch. Only the crazy ones seem to have survived. I'd like to be able to bring a guy home for them to meet; but I think I'd be really nervous about doing so... I know that I can't hover around him maintaining a barrier of protection, I will have to go to the bathroom or something at some point and then it will be a free for all... I like this family lots but I don't like the idea of feeding someone I like to the mob.

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And the saga continues

Yesterday my Internet Provider told me I needed to call the courier company to arrange the change of address myself. Irritated this is what I have now done. I called Thursday straight after I hung up from unwired and but I didn't have the connote number and they couldn't find me on the system, so I checked call times which I was told that I could call all night if I wanted. This was good. I got the connote number and called them about 6:00 last night and I got the Perth office who said she would send an e-mail with the instructions. Because Sydney was having phone problems, but if I called about 8 in the morning it could be sorted out and I could probably receive it that day.

I called this morning to sort the delivery out to find that Unwired had decided to actually do something about my change of address request yesterday. An the courier company had me down for delivery at the new address Monday. I did not get annoyed at the courier company I realise that they are caught in the middle of this, and the lady I spoke to said she would try and get it out to me today if at all possible. I really hope so.

Otherwise what should have taken 24hours to be delivered. Will now have taken a week. I am an incredibly in happy customer!

And it started out such a nice day

You quite possibly remember my post the other day about my problem with unwired. (If you don't read it now) I now have an update for you.

We are now the day of 48 hours after the call I made to change the address on Tuesday. About 11 I thought I would call and confirm that I would receive my modem today. I called up and went through the irritating thing of being identified, and asked about my delivery. The girl I spoke to said the computer said it needed to confirm my delivery address. I repeated it to her alarm bells going of in my head. So I asked if I would be receiving my modem today. Which I was told oh no I should have received it yesterday at my initial address and if no one was there should have a card telling me to contact the courier company to arrange a new drop off.

I told her on no that should not be the case as I changed the address on Tuesday. She told me that that would take 48 hours I said yes that is what I was told when I changed it and I was expecting my delivery at the new address today. Which I was informed, the change of address didn't go through, and I needed to contact the courier company and ask them to deliver else where.

During this conversation I was basically told "I am sorry this is your fault" "excuse me don't be rude" To the later I told her "I was not being rude and I could be if she wished" (not my exact words) I also thanked her for her help and hung up on her, I could not bring myself to actually say goodbye any politer than that. I was physically shaking when I hung up the phone, and one of my colleagues commented. I later checked with her that I wasn't rude (being as she had obviously been eaves dropping) she said I sounded annoyed but not rude which was a relief.

It is now my responsibility to chase it up with the courier. When I called the courier I had to remind myself to be nice it wasn't their fault unwired are a bunch of arse wipes. Things are now in the process of being sorted out. I wrote a letter of complain to the company too, I am pleased with it, it is my first letter of complaint and is about a page long. I am not expecting to hear anything from them in fact I am more expecting to get a black spot on my name and seriously worse service next time I have to deal with them.

I think I am still stuck in 6months of a contract maybe a year might have to check. If anyone has suggestions on:

1. How to get out of it (legaly)
   
2. A better isp

I would be very greatful; and I would like to encourage everyone not to join unwired. Yes they are much more conveniant but the customer service is complete crap! This is my present unwired horror story.

It was such a nice day when I woke this morning the sun was shining the birds were singing (ok so it was still dark and I could only hear snoring) but it was going to be such a good day!