Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Please hold onto your lunch!

Sette ore e conteggio. Ero giù contando le ore per quasi una settimana. Può sembrare triste, ma il tempo sembra andare veramente veloce quando si va a letto e rendersi conto che hai appena perso un altro ventiquattro ore. Cento e sessanta otto ore è andato così veloce e ora siamo in questi ultimi sette. Sono ansioso di vedere di nuovo, e questa volta di essere in grado di abbracciare lui. Qualcosa non puoi fare su Skype. Io cerco di non parlare di lui qui, ma oggi mi 'causare Amo lui e non può aspettare di vedere di nuovo ... Sei ore e trenta minuti!

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Monday, 17 December 2007

io sono stanco

I have a small confession to make. I am still tired. I have been self medicating with berroca and Iron tablets and seriously contemplating caffeine to the list again. Most of the day I seem to spend in a stupor. Just working on repetition (not the most encouraging thought when you consider that I spend about 1.5 hours driving every day). As your aware I've run out of iron again but I am still on the berroca. and whilst maybe it was making a difference, it was not a major difference. Temporarily it seemed to have worked; but not any more.

I sleep right
I eat right
I drink right

So there shouldn't be anything wrong with me. I have to admit that I usually don't feel tired between the times of 7pm (Sydney time) and bed. But most of the time I figure I would be as useful sitting on a couch watching tv.

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Sunday, 16 December 2007

Voglio andare verde, di nuovo

Yes I know I have tried going green before. I also know I am such a lazy git that the probability that I will stay green long is kinda low well not on my own anyway. Want to know what I hate most about going green? A product that is seen on the shelves says buy me I am green. You think yay pull it down turn it over and you can not read the ingredients list. Sure I think it is in English; I know enough French and Italian to know it isn't in those. Honestly why do they have to say sodium chloride when they mean salt? Sure if they put it in straight normal English I might sit down one day and make my own; but I am to lazy and busy to do that all the time. If I like it I will be back for more. An so is pretty much everyone else. Yes you have those competitors that will steal your product, but they are already doing that to your product in China anyway (plus adding horrible extra chemicals) least if they do it here we can go pound their bum to dust for being non-Australian (wow this is turning racist too).

Anyway I have been looking around; I did like my previous products that I was buying when I was green. But they were all in glass containers and whilst this is a nice thing. Glass and travel are not necessarily a good combination especially with travel rules etc. I can just see it "No ma'am you can't take your hand cream with you, it is a glass container you might stab the pilot with it; I am aware it is the size of a 20 cent piece but I am going to have to throw it out. I don't care that it cost you $50 it is the rules." Anyway I digress, as I am planning on doing a lot of travelling, ok so hoping to do a lot of travelling (as there aren't actually cemented plans for it) glass really isn't the way to go. So I am looking for alternatives; and this time I was also thinking of going a little further then just hair and body products; was thinking adornment products (make up) and cleaning products... much better then thinking I am going to die with the amount of chlorine and stuff that traditional cleaning stuff has in it.

problem is, I can't find anything in my state let alone nearby area. Today's searching has me headed for Queensland... Can't exactly wander up to Queensland every time I run out of toilet cleaner and shampoo.

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Giallo Stomaco

I went and saw Elizabeth; the golden years last night. If you have seen it I do not know what you thought of it; personally I thought it sucked. I could not seem to affiliate myself with any of the characters; a shocking horrible discovery. And honestly I did not have the stomach for all the torture scenes, or the beheading of Mary queen of Scots. The only good part was the costumes of the queen; her dresses; not her make up or hair styles; just her dresses.

I realise that over the past many months I have been doing much more better things then watching tv. An I have enjoyed every minute of it and hope that my evenings are to continue in this manner for sometime. I do not miss tv; in fact it really holds no interest for me at all these days. It is actually very surprising how much tv can desensitise you to blood torture and the likes. Yet I have found it just as surprising how easy it is to leave it behind and how quickly you become resensitised because you are no longer being constantly fed the treatments.

I am good in a crisis generally if I am called upon to bury my fist in the gaping whole that was just blasted in your side to keep you alive. I'll probably do it without a moments thought. But I really don't want to see it on my tv screen or for that matter the big screen, I just want to close my eyes until it is over; especially if it is one human to another, I can handle accidents just a little better.

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Thursday, 13 December 2007

La principessa e il pisello

What do you get if you combine:
  • a canvas camp stretcher
  • a self inflatable mat
  • a fitted satin sheet
  • unzipped sleeping bag
  • 2 furs
  • and a couple of pillows
You have a bed far more comfortable then my mattress. Yes to some degree my sleeping arrangements standards have lowered even further as I am now sleeping on camp furniture. But at last I am getting a very comfortable nights sleep. Yes now it would be far to awkward to have two people on my bed, and it is now a lot further to fall should one roll off the bed. But now I am not waking up with a sore back. I am not waking thinking I am more tired then when I first closed my eyes. My room is still very makeshift, I still have not unpacked any of the boxes, not even to find objects I have been requested to find. They are making my room look like a serious mess. Neither have I painted out the cupboard or arranged to get it fitted out properly. I can't even get at the other cupboard; not that that is a lose, it is only being used as storage, despite my other plans for it. I am much more comfy though so I am happies.

On a gross note; I have been off iron pills for 3 days now and already my incessant sneezing is back and there is blood in the snot. This can't be a good thing right? What does iron have to do with my nose?

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Monday, 10 December 2007

È comune cortesia, non è vero?

I am beginning to think I live my life with my head in a bucket. Often I go with friends to see movies that i am not keen on going to see (did I say often perhaps I should say regularly). With my manner of trying everything at least once (there are limits) I will go along and see sometimes this is good giving me a taste of movies I've liked that I would not normally have chosen but I did enjoy. Over the past month 2 movies have come up that I have wanted to see that my movie companion will not see.

The first the beautiful One night with the king. - this was not at our regular cinema and was 15 minutes further away so this was to difficult and complicated

The most recent request was for death at a funeral - this looks silly.

So far the only movie I have refused to see point blank is Rogue the suggestion made to be seen instead of death at a funeral. A fact that I have been saying I won't go see it for weeks I think should of course be ignored. Yes I am a pansy, nothing wrong with a huge scary man eating crocodile movie. It's like Jurassic Park, just without extinct animals. I already have an incredibly stupid high regard for sharks, I don't want to put crocodiles in that list too.

Is it just my view that there should be give and take with friends. That they should be able to say ok, we'll go to that movie that you choose; without me jumping up and down saying you chose this this this and this that I wasn't looking forward to seeing. Sci fi movies, fantasy movies are almost not an option (with the occasional exclusion) Looks like british comedy is out too. I'll get stuck watching romances and chick flicks... prehaps my movie friend should go to the movies with my sister instead.

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Sunday, 9 December 2007

E non è tutto per lei!

Over the last few days a discussion came up where I once again got myself in trouble. I have come to the conclusion that divorce turns people into selfish individuals. The issue came up with one member of my family lamenting the total ruin of our Christmas tradition. Once upon a time the whole extended family got together (being a small group we fitted in one house) and spent Christmas day together. From early morning where we sometimes shared breakfast together to late in the evening. It was family time where we got together and just was. The first divorce in the family put a almost insignificant rupture. Then due to the ability of the matriarch to be racist and a disproved wedding things got strained. Then my uncle divorced his wife and has now re-married. So you see the small mess my family is in. With the matriarch now moved on to greener pastures the strain is gone and now members of the family are known to lament the ruin of their Christmas.

Now I can fully understand that the years that Christmas would be at the home of the member of the divorce's them not wishing to have their opposing party in their home (especially if they are remarried (and breeding again)). I do not understand however why they can not bury the hatchet for the occasional day a year when they are invited to someone else's home. For example, why must I have a minimum of 2/3 Christmas's in small dribs and drabs when it is my year to have Christmas? Why can't I have my mother and my father, My Aunt, My Uncle and his interloper plus all my cousins over at the same time for my Christmas party? It isn't about them, it is about me that year and it is my home and they are all my family. My mother has told me that if I had a small gathering at my home (ie just family) and my father was coming, she would not come, neither would my sister come I would imagine.

I realise that divorce creates a lot of hurt and pain, and pain, but in the end particularly if you have breed prior to that their are times I think they should realise that they are burying the hatchet to show someone they are loved. Why when it is my event should I have to jump to hoops to make them happy it is my event, it is about me. What about weddings and funerals, baptism's and the like? am I to hold to of every event just so that they don't have to be in the same room?

Anyway if your going to be so selfish bout it and not do anything about getting back the events you enjoyed. Stop lamenting about it and wishing everything has happened; It's happened it isn't going to change; you can either fix it or shut up.

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Thursday, 6 December 2007

Chi l'ha detto che avevo cattivo gusto; mentito

Due to an unfortunate mishap with my phone; I seem to have dropped it for the last time, I have been scouring the internet to get a replacement; and being that I am kinda happy with my current mobile phone provider I should buy a phone outright. So of course I have found one that I really like and kinda got my heart set on it.

The features that I want are:
  • Camera 5 Megapixal with auto focus and 20x digital zoom (with flash)
  • Bluetooth - for Simon (my GPS)
  • Vibrating Alert (can't recieve sms's in movies and rally's without it)
  • Alarm (trust me a must)
  • Decent standby time (don't want to recharge it everyday because I didn't use it)
  • Decent Talk time (don't want to have to talk plugged into a wall; that is what a landline is for)
  • Sound recorder - might use that... not sure depends on distance needing to be at mouth
  • AC Charger
  • Colour screen
  • drop proof - either permanently attach it to my body or give me a bouncable cover
The phone I want has all this (excluding drop proofing), plus extras I don't need like;
  • 3g Broadband - I have internet I don't need more
  • MP3 player - I have one don't need another
  • Video Calling - had it on my last phone never used it
  • Speaker phone - I am not supposed to drive and talk
  • Infarared - no idea why I would use it
  • GPS - I have Simon and I don't usually get lost on my feet
  • Games - Also had em; don't use them
  • FM Radio - umm no
  • e-mail - nice idea but no
  • Java - mostly only used for games before and takes forever to load
  • Calculator - 1+1=2... see I know maths I no need
  • Organiser - I like my paper one I leave at work...
  • PC Synchronisation - Good for storing illicit sms's; pain in the arse to synchronise
  • Hands free - you still got to push the buttons and if I don't want speaker phone why I want this?
  • Video Connectivity Cable - what am I going to connect it to I mean really the point is? I'll just lose it
  • USB cable - not going to synchronise to my computer no need it
All that for $1049. So of course I won't be getting it; (especially now that I have listed my wants and not wants). Due to my propensity for dropping I should get a really cheap phone. In the outright phones the cheapest I can get is almost a nokia original, with greenish and black little screen with few extras like snake and vibration alert. There are options in between these options of course and either I get more junk then I want and pay loads for it; or I have to lose out on stuff I want. Either way you got to pay lots more

Option 2 is to change prepaid phone company's - whole new kettle of fish as well dealing with phone junk, I got to find a company that gives me what I want, and I always get the feeling I am getting a dodgy phone; for the speed at which it is becoming obsolete is scary.

Option 3 Go on a plan. This is seriously the last option plans make me uncomfortable. They are going to make me pay them money for a minimum of 2 years in a contract that makes me feel a lot nervous. Yay up-to-date phone for signing a contract in blood with the devil.

I would like to custom build my phone. You can do it for computers why not phones. I'd happily pay someone to build me a phone to my specifications with only the stuff I want not all this other junk. They say the people buy on 2 thinks look, and ease of use. That is what most people might do... but what about those of us who might like to fiddle with parts etc... Computer geeks get to build their own computers; why can't fussy mobile phone users build their own mobile? I would not get a mobile in demonstration except well I do need one and my stand won't actually make a difference would it?

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Monday, 3 December 2007

Perdonare e dimenticare

Feeling the need to air secret dirty laundry today in an effort to figure out whether I am insane or perhaps I have been treated badly and my feelings are justified.

I kinda realised that I harbour a lot of contempt for certain members of my family and I am not sure if I should so I been thinking about reasons that I might have been given to learn these feelings.

In grade three my sister was being marked unfairly by her teacher more then once. My mother should know she would have done a large portion of the work. My mother wrote an essay numerous pages long, made copies and handed it to a bunch of people on school board and such and even took my sister for an interview at another school with thoughts of moving her because of the bad treatment. I was terrorized by all the kids in the school for as long as I can remember and all the teachers turned a blind eye to it. I was never given the opportunity to change schools until I told my mother half way through year 9 that I had been thinking about secretly moving schools on my own.

I've always had to wait for my sister. Take for example M15+ movies; After I turned 15 I was allowed to watch them for a week; after that I wasn't allowed to watch anything more then a pg until after my sister turned 15. Though she was the first to watch an M movie, she watched Liar Liar under age at the movies for a friends party. Mum says she didn't know. Despite the fact I told her over and over what it was.

My mother claims that my sister was always friendly to me and supported me. That I would like to point out is bullshit. When I say the whole school terrorized me. I include my sister. She is just as guilty as the rest. It was a well known fact to be friends to me would get you alienated.

My mother has done the majority of the work for all my sisters assignments. Yes my sister actually types them; but the hard yards were done by my mother. I have been told I am smart I don't need help. She says my sister isn't smart and needs all the help she can get if she wants to make it in the world (If your reading this; Yes your kinda loving mother thinks your stupid!)

When I got tonsillitis I had it for over a week before my mother agreed I was ill. I couldn't swallow without pain; breathing was difficult and my tonsils were the size of golf balls by this time and I was still going to school. I still have the offending articles and they are very easy to see and enjoy getting sore on occasion. When my sister gets a cold we go get special tissues and lozenges and give her the day off.

Getting car liscences, my sister was pretty much on her full liscence before I even got my P's because my sister could afford to pay for driving lessons. I could not afford them and so I was going to get my uncle to teach me; but no one could be bothered to take the time to take me down to see him; and I wasn't allowed to catch the train down as he brought me back the only time I did it. My sister was allowed to drive my mothers manual practically new car. I had to beg to be allowed to drive the automatic car that had had three previous owners.

Every weekend is taken up doing things my sister wants to do. Shopping/Surfing etc. It is a large inconvenience to do things I would like to do. All calendars are organized around what my sister is doing. To bad if I end up double booked. Lives are rearranged so she can attend events only to have her decided she isn't going to go after all.

Her rudeness, lies and stories are encouraged. From a young age she would hit me and then I would get into trouble because I must of hit her first for her to hit me. My existence is just to make her every wish a reality. I must marry so that she can be a maid of honour, (She of course picks all the dresses and the accessories and who will be in the party where it will be and who will be invited, but she won't make a speech of course). I must breed so that she can have small children to terrorize whom she believes will adore her. I must go on holidays I don't want to be on so that she doesn't have to go alone. I must ruin my holiday by being thoughtful of her because she doesn't know how to quietly entertain herself without a tv.

GRRR!!! and these are only off the top of my head. I have to admit the majority of them suggest I am severely jealous of her. But Jealousy leads to contempt and even hate. Any admittance on my part that I dislike my sister is met with a "No you don't she's your sister you love her." Any reference that suggests my mother is only my sisters mother is also squished flat. I am suppose to tell certain people how great they are. How do I do that when I want to be able to say I don't lie to that same person. I want this person in my life; and I don't want them in it. I knows I am a bad person for thinking it, they are my family I am supposed to love them just because we are related, but I don't. I would rather I had no family.

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Sunday, 2 December 2007

Letto gioca

This not having a proper bed is starting to annoy me. I found a bed I liked and was going to put down a deposit for it about 4 weeks ago. Sadly for me I was convinced to wait; perhaps it would be on sale soon with Christmas so close on the horizon. So it is still waiting to be ordered; which is a pain as it takes 6 weeks for the order to come through. This would be fine except well my mattress that I am sleeping on is at least 23 years old. So you can imagine that honestly it is not providing much comfort at all these days. Don't get me wrong it is comfortable; but honestly I am sure a bed should be much more comfortable then this is. I have been waking up really sore every morning and it takes some time before I warm up and feel better. I am blaming this on my mattress because people fatter then me seem to be able to get a good nights sleep and not wake up feeling like I am. So I got to put my foot down; throw a tantrum and go and get my bed.... only problem is now I won't get the one I wanted this side of Christmas... it is likely that I wouldn't get it till sometime in February. "Grr," why do I do as I am told all the time?"

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