Thursday, 18 September 2008

non capesci

It has finally happen.

I knew the day would come when someone would ring my mobile and say.

"Hi, I am from (insert long boring name here (one your mother signed you up to as a kid so you could make money)). We are doing some market research..." (I take a breath to say I am unavailble) "Do you have children"

See you in a week!

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Non Parlo

I've been thinking, whilst I am a etiquette conscious snob (I even have the penguins book of etiquette to prove it) it has come to my attention that people within my acquaintance have been braking the carnal rule of etiquette, the one they tried to teach us as children.

If it is not nice it shouldn't be said.

In the shopping scene I have seen it regularly. I was benefited to view a workman in a meeting with a potential client. Body language aside (which was overbearing to say the least) the client was down right rude. He told the workman that the work he required was most important task he would receive all year. He told the work man when he would turn up and what he would do and how long it would take. He told the workman how many people he had to send to do the job and told the workman that he had to turn up as part of the crew. When the workman politely tried to get out of the job (also body languge left out (he was like a tiger in a trap)) the workman was told I have seen your work, we have decided on the price and I want to see you there tomorrow morning.

To me that was rude. He was demanding a service from someone. A service that someone else provides for you should be requested. The person does have the right to turn you down, the fact you are paying them does not give you the right to demand and tell them how to do their job. If you think about it, why would you want to do a good job for someone that is rude and unpleasant?

I was out shopping the other day an stopped in at woollies to grab a few things. We got to the check out and my companion exclaimed to the woman at the counter. "Why did you get rid of the rail an make people join separate queues. it was much better the old way." She replied tersely, "We are getting self service soon so it doesn't matter." I had hoped that was the end of it, but as I picked up my purchase my companion retorted "Self service will be just as bad if not worse".
"What did you say that for?" I hissed under my breath as we left. "If people don't complain they won't know"

Particularly in this case the sales woman did not care one hoot what my companions complaint was an neither was she likely to pass it on. All her complaining did was make the sales lady hate customers and want to get home even more (This being what I would want). In the case of big stores the best way is to keep your mouth closed an shop else where. If people ask why you can say you do not like the store. Sometimes you will have to choose between convenience and what makes you happy, but it's your choice.

I received an email today. "I received a picture of (insert name here). He looks old! I don't look like that do I?" This same person has also waited for a wider person to get out of ear short (not always) before saying "Look at that woman, I am not as fat as her am I?"

Low self esteem is not an excuse for bad manners. If you have to wait for the recipient to be out of ear shot before you say anything. You obviously should not be saying it. Particularly in this case you do not know who is listening an what you are doing to their self esteem or their image of you. This also goes for comments and unsolicited advice mentioned the other day "These are great products to help you loose weight so you look great on your wedding day" and "He's a great guy he loves her for her personality even though she's fat".

I think I have rambled on enough about what I consider to be rude behaviour long enough to bore you an consider my bad manners by airing these examples

Monday, 8 September 2008

Mi Sposo Grande

I am not sure if everything is going crazy or if it is just me.

People are dieting like crazy around me. I even have one of my bridesmaids dieting like crazy so that she will be thin for the wedding (at current size she'll be getting a size 10 dress) an some of my many mothers also. I even had one person quietly take me aside on my engagement party weekend an show me some crash dieting products that will help me loose weight.

I have been undressed and laced up in cupcake dresses by total strangers while they and my mother sit an talk about how nice my fiancée is because he loves me an wants everyone to see us get married despite the fact I am fat.

When it came time to plan my wedding, I decided I had enough stresses to worry about without including stressing about the .002 kilo's I had put on this week. Would much rather think about how intelligent men want fatter wives because they are better capable of giving them intelligent children.

It's tempting to create a t-shirt that says:

I am a

on the front
I'm not

on the back.

Looks like I not only going to be the shortest person in the bridal party but also the widest!

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Avoid the baked beetroot!

I'd will dye all your internal processing units purple!

Thursday, 4 September 2008


Fucking Freaking Bloody Fathers!

IF it weren't that they come with the package deal of creating you! Who'd have them?!?!?


Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Mi Sposo

Well finally I can take a short break from wedding creations.


I am supposed to make another wedding registry tonight. But the first registry is now up and accessible. Invitations are supposed to get put together on the weekend (Must get wax) Church and Reception is booked an deposit paid. Photographer has been lined up (Must pay him deposit an 6month instalment)Got to get the bridesmaids dresses Purchased (We getting mighty close to the dead line). Junior Bridesmaids dress needs to be found. Need to ask family member to make dress for flower girl and get a pattern to her an material.

Need to get grooms suit, an arrange suit idea for grooms men so they can go measure up an what ever they supposed to do. Need to take junior grooms man and Pageboys suit looking.

Need to arrange flowers, got to find florist. Need to book cake and find cake topper. Need to arrange pre wedding photo's. Need to talk to pet store.

Need to get job. Need to get house.

Need to go to engagement parties, Kitchen tea.

Need to arrange to get pattern an material for my own dress for dressmaker.

Have to listen to mother whine about her figure an how she has to get an out fit for the wedding. Have to listen to Mother an Sister whine about my father an his involvement in my wedding. Need to kick my fathers arse!

Need to find person to give me away.

Need to go to Marriage cousoling...

Never mind. No break yet. Only got a few more months....

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