Non Parlo

I've been thinking, whilst I am a etiquette conscious snob (I even have the penguins book of etiquette to prove it) it has come to my attention that people within my acquaintance have been braking the carnal rule of etiquette, the one they tried to teach us as children.

If it is not nice it shouldn't be said.

In the shopping scene I have seen it regularly. I was benefited to view a workman in a meeting with a potential client. Body language aside (which was overbearing to say the least) the client was down right rude. He told the workman that the work he required was most important task he would receive all year. He told the work man when he would turn up and what he would do and how long it would take. He told the workman how many people he had to send to do the job and told the workman that he had to turn up as part of the crew. When the workman politely tried to get out of the job (also body languge left out (he was like a tiger in a trap)) the workman was told I have seen your work, we have decided on the price and I want to see you there tomorrow morning.

To me that was rude. He was demanding a service from someone. A service that someone else provides for you should be requested. The person does have the right to turn you down, the fact you are paying them does not give you the right to demand and tell them how to do their job. If you think about it, why would you want to do a good job for someone that is rude and unpleasant?

I was out shopping the other day an stopped in at woollies to grab a few things. We got to the check out and my companion exclaimed to the woman at the counter. "Why did you get rid of the rail an make people join separate queues. it was much better the old way." She replied tersely, "We are getting self service soon so it doesn't matter." I had hoped that was the end of it, but as I picked up my purchase my companion retorted "Self service will be just as bad if not worse".
"What did you say that for?" I hissed under my breath as we left. "If people don't complain they won't know"

Particularly in this case the sales woman did not care one hoot what my companions complaint was an neither was she likely to pass it on. All her complaining did was make the sales lady hate customers and want to get home even more (This being what I would want). In the case of big stores the best way is to keep your mouth closed an shop else where. If people ask why you can say you do not like the store. Sometimes you will have to choose between convenience and what makes you happy, but it's your choice.

I received an email today. "I received a picture of (insert name here). He looks old! I don't look like that do I?" This same person has also waited for a wider person to get out of ear short (not always) before saying "Look at that woman, I am not as fat as her am I?"

Low self esteem is not an excuse for bad manners. If you have to wait for the recipient to be out of ear shot before you say anything. You obviously should not be saying it. Particularly in this case you do not know who is listening an what you are doing to their self esteem or their image of you. This also goes for comments and unsolicited advice mentioned the other day "These are great products to help you loose weight so you look great on your wedding day" and "He's a great guy he loves her for her personality even though she's fat".

I think I have rambled on enough about what I consider to be rude behaviour long enough to bore you an consider my bad manners by airing these examples