Sono stanco di essere buono
I realise with my history that this title has you sitting up straighter and your hair standing on end. "Oh no what could she possibly mean by that?" I don't mean going back to my old ways; I mean stopping this 'roll over, good dog' mentality as Deli refers to it. I think of the little sign displayed in a few offices at the receptionists desks with a smile, 'I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking any good either.' It is a sentiment that I really wish I could follow through on.
Looking at yesterdays post I figured I got this far... being me... perhaps it is time to address some of the faults I have. An I think it is seriously time to deal with the fact that I don't just roll with the punches; I play dead. At work if something goes wrong it is always my fault and I have at least 3-5 people sepperatly tell me off for it. One of these people dosn't even come into the office and I have never met him in person. At home I am tag teamed and I am never sure if I am coming or going. At work I rarely ever stand up and say shove off to anyone; I don't speak the language so I never know what is going on, so life has become keep your head down and do as you are told. At home when I have tried it the response to it is 'You would do it for 'so and so'' or 'But you did it last week?' these are the nicer responses...
When it comes to standing up for myself I am not very good at it. I either have to push so hard to make the other cry before or my argument is totally ignored and I lose my footing and give in. Responses thrown at me are I am selfish, I am thoughtless, I am cruel, I have favourites etc. And when a very similar incident comes around we have to go through it all again; and I sometimes can't find the energy to fight it again. It's like peeing on a tree to mark your territory, the other dogs still continue to walk by; sometimes even pee on my tree; but I feel like an old dog and don't want to fight so often
I also can't find a guid book on doing this either
Looking at yesterdays post I figured I got this far... being me... perhaps it is time to address some of the faults I have. An I think it is seriously time to deal with the fact that I don't just roll with the punches; I play dead. At work if something goes wrong it is always my fault and I have at least 3-5 people sepperatly tell me off for it. One of these people dosn't even come into the office and I have never met him in person. At home I am tag teamed and I am never sure if I am coming or going. At work I rarely ever stand up and say shove off to anyone; I don't speak the language so I never know what is going on, so life has become keep your head down and do as you are told. At home when I have tried it the response to it is 'You would do it for 'so and so'' or 'But you did it last week?' these are the nicer responses...
When it comes to standing up for myself I am not very good at it. I either have to push so hard to make the other cry before or my argument is totally ignored and I lose my footing and give in. Responses thrown at me are I am selfish, I am thoughtless, I am cruel, I have favourites etc. And when a very similar incident comes around we have to go through it all again; and I sometimes can't find the energy to fight it again. It's like peeing on a tree to mark your territory, the other dogs still continue to walk by; sometimes even pee on my tree; but I feel like an old dog and don't want to fight so often
I also can't find a guid book on doing this either
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