Io Io Io Io

"Hi it's my birthday"
"Congrates, look at my hair, my boyfriend dumped me, My job sucks, I have spinach in my teeth"...

No! No! No! No!!!!!

Pause take deep breath, focus.

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT BLOODY YOU!!!

I am a nice polite person, but I didn't tell you my good news so I could listen to you talk about you for the next few months. I want to talk about my party an the dress I want to wear and the cute boy I want to be nearest me when I cut the cake.

I realise now that you are visiualizing an attention starved person standing on a soap box with a microphone stamping their little foot. An if you weren't you are now.

Note:This is a work of fiction, any real life events or people it reminds you off was purely an accident.
Warning:One day there will be a test.