Accendere la luce

All week the lights on the street at school have been turned off. On Monday I figured it was a one off, but as I not a big fan of walking in the dark, and walking past an small empty park a public pool and down the side of a railway track where there are lots of cars but is mostly disertated, having little light to see by doesn't make a lone female feel most comfortable about the situation.

It isn't a power issue as all the stores have their lights on, an I doubt for that many lights to be off that it isn't blown light bulbs (and if it is when the council office is on this road also, it is disgusting they should get something done about it).

Monday I called Sparky while I walked, less creepy talking to Sparky when walking in these situations. Tuesday, Sparky was up to his eyeballs in work an I was not parked to far away so I braved the dark alone. Last night I was little cockier and walked just smsing back an forward.

Still I think the street should be re lit asap. Just because a police station is also on the opposite side of the street does not make it any safer for me. They have their lights on so They probably can't see the oppisite side of the street if something was to happen.

RTA

I went to the RTA this week. You may remember me wishing that I never have to see them again last time I went there. My thoughts have not changed.

I went to get my green p's on Monday. Passed the test (despite the fact that I took out a motor cycle(hazard perception test... it was not a real motorcycle)) Paid money had new photo taken. Then waited like 1.5 hours for my license to be printed. Initially they got it jammed in the printer. Then they lost it. Then I got it.

Did however see the spoilt brat of the century. Little girl decided as her brother walked to her mum to burst into tears which included an attention seeking noise. When this got no instantaneous result ripped the head off her barbie and hurried after her mum tears in her eyes holding the dismembered doll up to her mum. Don't know if the brother got in trouble but she is going to be a real shite.

Anyway I digress. There were 2 calls on the answering machine (she ran out of rambling space the first time) this morning. Error number one THEY WERE ASKING FOR MY SISTER!!! The talked about the problem I had the previous day getting my card. It had to be me they were after as my sister is to far away at present. They were saying they gave me the wrong card. Great I been driving all yesterday with an invalid license.

Went in to the RTA which they switched my card for an identical card. Saying if I tried to use the card I could be in trouble. How the hell am I going to get in trouble? Do you have to swipe your license to get into pubs now? Do you swipe when you get put in gaol?

GRR GRR GRR

Posso commettere il reato prima?

Well my weekend went swimmingly. I cooked pies with a small group of kids on Saturday night. Which went really well an they were so yummy. Also went an got fitted for a new 'party dress on Sunday.

Participated in a family photo shoot on the Sunday also, though I was seriously not in the mood. Let me relay my reason for not being in the mood.

Saturday afternoon ventured in to existence with the return home, from a morning out, of my two family members. This started with their pounding on the door to be let in. This is their custom every time they are out as they would rather be waited upon and answered by a servant then bend their arm at the elbow so that their forearm is parallel with the ground put a key in the door and open it themselves. I would dare to suggest the pounding (and subsequent yelling if you don't open it before they pound again(Even if you answer in a towel soaking wet covered in soap and the shower running upstairs you'll get yelled at)) would use far more energy and time then finding your own dam keys.

The youngest of these two then proceeded to help herself to my freshly made practice pie. This was closely followed by the elder. Ignoring that I might have wanted to take it to show the kids what we be making or that it might of been saved for tea, or even the simplest courtesy of asking if they might. Ignoring that politeness would suggest that they comment on the article in a positive light before pointing out that the fluids of the pie had not been made thick enough. Leaving that they ate almost all of it in one sitting as the only suggestion that it was liked.

This was followed by a discussion of a friends wedding, a friend of mine, who's manners and life style they do not approve of. A topic that grates on me terribly as these people are my friends and I don't judge them on their choices, but I am criticised for my friends behaviour.

If your wondering where I am getting to this is the crunch. The younger family expects I will be just like them. She thinks I am sleeping around (this has been adjusted to sleeping with one person) and up to my eye balls in sex. Thus basically she called me a whore, when asked if this is what she was calling me, she said yes. This is closely followed by the elders opinion of me. Not yet actually calling me a whore to my face, but an incident recently where she decided she was coming into my room. Despite being told that I was changing barged right in (yes we have a problem here) myself covered in whatever I could grab (luckily that was a sheet, offers all over coverage.) Then as my computer was on, accused me of showing my breast to the internet.

Thus perhaps you can understand my non photo shoot mood on the Sunday. Especially as the photo's were supposed to portray 'happy loving family' I'd rather shoot myself.

ti amo

Today is the day that makes this whole year very very special. Not that it is the extra day of February that only shows up every four years. No today is that day that means this year any girl can ask a boy to marry her, no matter how much of a traditionalist he is.

If you have a guy that you have desperately been hopping will ask you the big question but it has not happened. This year you can nail the slippery sucker down and ask him yourself. This year you don't have to get pregnant to get him to make an honest women out of you. If you have been wondering why your man has been cowering in a dark corner all year thus far this year, it is because he knows, and he's frightened. He knows his woman knows before he does that the two of you are matched an suited for a life together in marriage. He knows that if you ask the right answer is yes. But he doesn't know it is the right decision yet.

So find your man drag him out of his dark corner and pop the question. Catch him off his guard. Happy Leap Year!

Note: no men where hurt in the making of this post. Do not use this post as a valid reason for asking that man you like to marry you. Even the author is ignoring this advice.

Side point generally people ask people they are dating to marry them. Strangers on the street people you are stalking or have a silent crush on should not be victims of your lust and desire to tie the knot.

Nerd lussuria

If one can find a back up soul mate; without offending the first; I think I found him. Rands in Repose, is his name and I been rifling through him all morning, mostly trying to find a flaw in our compatibility, I have not found a flaw an now I think I am in love.

It was The Nerds Handbook that first had me hooked. This was followed by Nadd wich was closely followed by the cave. Or was it the other way around I don't remember any more. If I thought reading The nerds handbook would have any positive affect upon my relationship with others I would make all the people that 'care' read it, as it won't I won't specifically send them to it. He makes me proud to wear the title nerd. I have meet a number of nerds to different degrees of nerdidity, an his descriptions of us have us warmly classified and understood.

I have also finally discovered what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a free electron. I'm not sure if I have the natural ability for it, but there is a chance I could mould my stubborn streak to be head banging on break wall enough for it. Check with my mother but I think she would say I have the temprement for it.

If you want to read more about my new love you will find him on the right. Rands e riposo if you still rusty on your Italian.

Principessa senza pisello

As we all know things can't go perfectly right all the time. I got my bed yesterday, it being a flat pack requires assembling. So I have put my new mattress on the floor (with the plastic it come in underneath to protect it) an after putting a fitted sheet on had a spacious nights sleep. So Spacious in fact that after my narrow stretcher bed, I woke a few times completely disorientated, but it was nice to stretch out my arm an not be able to find the edge. being so wide there was 2 pillows side by side, so I let my mobile phone sleep on the other pillow (no we don't have a relationship going on it is my alarm clock (yes I know people would normally rather kill their alarm clock then sleep beside it)) that way I could find it in the morning.

This morning I went and looked at the parts of the bed frame. first thing I noticed was I could see which parts were what and there was a really cool slat marking style done on the side pieces. If you can say 1,2,3 or a,b,c you can put this bed together without a manual. That was when I noticed a small problem. There was no manual or warranty (very important of late as all my warranties are being called up lately)... Then an even smaller delemia but totally enormous on the scale of putting the bed together. There were no screws.

Tiny tiny tiny little screws (ok so probably not that tiny) and nothing could be done with all these enormous bed parts until I get them. I have contacted the bed people and now I await to hear back from them.

Vita di aggiornamento

Update on my life;

My bed is arriving today, sadlly I won't be able to put the base together until Sunday; but at least it is around to look at an know that is just involves me making time to put it together; but i does also mean that tonight for the first time in a long time; I will have a comfortable sleep with lots of space to spread out. (No I do not plan on gaining weight so that I can make use of this extra space). The question not is; do I put the green sheets on the bed; or the red ones?

I am not a god. Pulled apart my computer last night with the computer doctor. Amazingly considering the noise and the smell and the taste and the flash of light nothing was black or melted broken or gooey. In fact if you take out the power supply and the graphics card and put in a substitute power supply everything runs like it should. Though as the substitute power supply didn't have enough connectors my dvd drive is currently out of commission. Now to chase up warranty replacements on the 2 parts so I can have everything back to normal

I bought a corset on the weekend. A real one with metal boning. Was really quite comfortable. I can really pull my waist in a lot smaller then I can breath in. Will take practice to lace it up myself though. On wearing it for most of yesterday afternoon made a few discoveries. Driving is not necessarily a skill that the corset allows for. Yes I can do it, but I think the practice required to pull it off might be a little dangerous. Movement is generally not to bad... sitting is a new experience. You have few alternatives for sitting, non of which is the comfy slouch that is a much favoured by our culture now days. in fact; you sit so upright and straight, that your hands have trouble reaching your lap. Unlike when you slouch it is your elbows that almost reach your lap. Still thinking with practice and a slave to lace me up, maybe it might be a nice change from modern day underwear.I bought it at Gallery Serpentine is really quite a cool shop If you are ever buying for my I am a 15 (might want to check with the store as to what measurement that is).

That about sums up the update of anything remotely interesting. Could count the number of pimples I currently have or the number of times I have blinked whilst writting this post but I won't.

Sono dio

Last night due to certain circumstances somewhat out of my control, I might of turned myself into a god, but I am not sure how to check.

You see if one believes that the world was created by a big bang, then really we are suspended with in someone much bigger then us's computer. Let me explain I was having some issues last night with my computer. You remember the big sexy one I built (with my brothers help) anyway there was issues and one thing led to another big bang huge flash of light... an ta da! I am a god.

ok so we already know the god thing is a bunch of crap, but the bang and the light (and the smell and the taste (of the air (I am sick I can't smell give me a break(mum smelt it))) (wow that so felt like xhtml all the nesting and closing tags) and the little puff of black smoke; that is all true.

:( I blew up my computer! :(

Morte riscaldato

Today all I can think about it is engorged body parts, opaque body fluids, warm fuzzy thoughts, and breathlessness.

Hoping I no need to tell you to get your mind out of the gutter (who do you think I am?). I am sick (again) I have engorged tonsils (think golf balls, now put 2 in your throat at the back of your mouth (now try breathing). Opaque body fluids think puss coming from these tonsils and snot running from my nose. Warmth is the fever I am running, fuzzy imagine your head filled with cotton wool.

Aren't I sounding like the most sexiest female you have ever imagined in your life? I am self medicating in a serious way i.e. aspirin for the pain and headache (did I mention I am also suffering a coffee hangover) and berroca to counteract the drowsiness that I get from the aspirin. I think it is a sunny day; but the light hurts my eyes.

note: only myself was hurt in the making of this post. Do not stick golf balls down your throat. For a limited time my tonsils are on display in my throat. Plans to remove them should go under way after June, see them while you can.

Il lavoro è terribile spreco di tempo

Chipmunks rock. Got some of their songs to entertain while I toil at the grindstone of pointless work. Man my job sucks.

Definitely looking for a loophole or a clause that gets me out of this place. I here for the money...


Sucky sucky sucky job, where I am constantly doing pointless taskes. Entering data into a database no one uses. Chaseing up outstanding accounts where I am to tell someone we no longer send them out stuff till they pay up. But I have no authority for that to stick... everyone sends them stuff anyway... seriously some people owe lots of money.

Trying to do things they need (which probably won't be used anyway also) but no time to do it in. Even when they ask me to do it because I am doing sucky sucky stupid pointless tasks! I is loyal to a fault... but is sucky stupid no English place... I better then this... I want out... out out and away! NOW!!!!

Blu luna, Auto rapina

Blue Moon

You saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Blue Moon

You know just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

Someone I really could care for



And then there suddenly appeared before me

The only one my arms will hold

I heard somebody whisper please adore me

And when I looked to the Moon it turned to gold



Blue Moon

Now I'm no longer alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own



And then there suddenly appeared before me

The only one my arms will ever hold

I heard somebody whisper please adore me

And when I looked the Moon had turned to gold



Blue moon

Now I'm no longer alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own



Blue moon

Now I'm no longer alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own
Gush gush gush.... I like that song been in my head all morning... over and over it went though I had the words wrong... "Blue moon... I saw you standing alone... without a dream in your heart... with out a love of your own..." still works I guess.

On
another note; I can break into my own car. Definatly a good thing as I have forgotten my keys in the car a few times already. I am sure the NRMA is about to start charging me to let me back into the car (if they aren't already). Might have to temproarily perminantly tattoo car ownership on my arm or something so people don't call the police. Next step... start thecar with out keys? maybe? what you think?

Cupido è in carcere per tentato omicidio di milioni

Rose rosse sono; Viole sono blu Questo è così stupido; Ma ti amo

The hippies have taken over my school. Yes I am kinda all for the saving the world and reducing my footprint on the earth, but seriously food does not taste as good when your throw away fork is bamboo/unlacquered wood/solid recycled paper. Plastic is recyclable, I would rather eat from something that doesn't absorb the taste of my food before I get it into my mouth. It is a cafeteria so most of the flavour is gone already. I don't want to pay $5 to eat food that tastes a lot like cardboard, and chew on cardboard that tastes a lot like food.

While on the subject of school. I started my web design cert 4 course. been good so far, I finished all the excersises before everyone else in my classes so far. In fact I was so speed last night I finished a 4 hour class in 2 hours. An so far I still know what I am doing and understand it all. Either I have seriously underestimated what I already know, or I am presently being lured into a sense of achievement and cockiness, just so they can whack me on the head with a text book when I am not looking. So far I don't need a text book, just an adobe suite package... I'm looking at $400+

My last little complaint about school. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me something else to work in other then notepad (as in the standard one that comes with windows os). It's a school teaching web design you'd think maybe they might have notepad ++ at least that counts the lines for you and you don't have to manually count them to find the error.

On a good note, I love my Italian classes... first word they checked to find out we knew was 'vino'. Not expecting I will need to use that often. Still can't say 'I am unwell and think I am going to die'. But I can say 'cosi cosi'... it isn't 'I am great thank you' at least.

Happy V'day btw... Ma ti amo sesso Sparky.

Ha una penna

At the beginning of the age where time was not marked the Anthialians and the Phiatias's were one people under one king. Till Phiatia proclaimed herself a goddess and decided she wanted to be ruler instead. So a great battle broke out in the realm of the gods. The semi gods were forced to pick sides. Some chose to follow Phiatia the rest followed Anthialian, under the king. The battle was heavy and many lost their lives; but in the end the Anthialians prevailed. The king banished Phiatia and her followers from the land of the gods to a small world on the border of reality, where a small family of humans were beginning to multiply.

There the war continued....

Welcome to the beginging of the prologue for my novella 'contest/challenge'. A realm of semi gods, demi gods and full strength gods; and a lovely little place we like to call home. The story is about a semi god whose job is to protect a human girl called Melissa; but Melissa is considering joining the Phiatia's, only she doesn't know it. The humans can not see the Anthialians or the Phiatia's and have no idea what is going on around them and what is their involvement in bringing the end of the war.

Police/Editors want women Raped

I wrote this title in English because I really want to make my point an I want you to be sure you didn't miss a thing. Today as I was reading the paper on the train I noted a really small Police warning on the inside column of a page.

Women do not walk around late at night alone. A woman got raped in northern beaches guy still at large. (very rough paraphrase you get the idea).

This was all printed next to an almost full page article with pictures about kids being taken away; big sob story look their presents are still waiting to be unwrapped. Whilst this warning was in a gap about an inch wide and a little over an inch long In average writing with only a little more then bold print. Neither was it at the top it was squished part way down. As the news paper owner demonstrated (thus my inability to tell you exactly what it said) in the exact spot you put your hand to hold the dam paper together (really newspapers should spend a few cents on staples).

Since there is even an puny warning in the paper I can assume that the police asked for it and don't want to find you crying with snot running out your nose and pants around your ankles. So is it newspapers that don't actually care about everyone around them. Instead of informing us that we should be careful when we go out at night; for our own safety, this is squished around a gigantic sob story which whilst interesting really has no effect on our personal lives except convince us more and more that DOC'S have their wires crossed. In fact I think that the paper would rather boarder on defamation then tell us how to keep safe. If we're not safe, they get more stories.

An people wonder why I hate news papers and News reports. they don't actually give a shit; they just want a story.

Ladies do not go walking around alone at night! just because it says 4am there for morning dosn't mean the curfew is up. If it is dark outside, don't walk alone outside. Take a protective companion, husband, boyfriend, brother, father, mother, sister friend, gaggle of girls or a big dog with teeth and sexy growl.

Se mi amate ... Acquistare me una pasta maker

Since no one is around to tell... I will tell you. Guess what I am having for lunch. Yeap that is right home made pasta with garlic, olives and chilli sauce. Can you say yum?

I've been making pasta sauces from scratch for ages (I cheated with the sauce if you ever see it in he shops seriously get it it is really really nice it's a stir through sauce so look at the little bottles), but I've always really wanted to make pasta too. Well today with a day off I decided to try my hand at it. Yes it needs some tweaking but other wise it was really quite nice. I do not however have a pasta maker, you know those little machines that you put the pasta dough through, so I cut it into strips by hand. If doing it yourself seriously make teeny tiny strips, the stuff swells (not exactly sure why). So I am off to buy myself a pasta maker... it tastes better then packaged stuff and you can experiment with different things after you can make it well (like grinding up mushroom and putting that in the dough, or grind fresh basil in it). Also you don't eat as much before you feel full.

yum yum yum... I might become a good cook yet... :P

Avviso di pensare in corso

well you already know that i am a somewhat hair brained little imp sometimes. An this is no exception. on the weekend (yeah that really nice long one we just had). I tried to inspire a competition between myself and one of my brothers. Both of us have written articles and been published an during the conversation I issued him a novella challenge.

10,000 words which must secretly incorporate all the members of the famdamily. Not an excessively small challenge. An I didn't even take the smart approach and challenge him after I had an idea for it. He did accept, though usually he likes to have a rethink so I e-mailed him to ask if it was still on. presently I am now fired up about it... problem is, no idea what to write. Any suggestions?

I believe the famdamily are all going to read them and make a decision about them,an try an find which of the characters are them.

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Disoccupati

I think that my work is looking for my replacement. An I haven't been fired nor have a quit. Been answering a few phone calls lately that are inquiring about the clerk/receptionist job they saw in the Chinese newspaper. I already seen them hire a new warehouse man (before they moved out the one that they had) and they just hired a new sales rep while they old one is still here (I haven't the heart to tell him he's being moved on), so sure why can't they do it to me? I don't speak Chinese so I have no clue what is going on any more. Perhaps I am paranoid; but I do know there isn't enough work for two of us. I think I am being moved on...

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Venire condividere il mio letto

Was looking at bed covers for my new bed... here was an idea I found amusing... This also could be a heap of fun. This is interesting though does someone know what mingerz means? All this from a simple google search. I know which ones I would likes... but I still live where I do that might cause problems with that selection... I can't find something I like yet maybe I have to make one, then it can be the right colours.

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Aggiornamento

As you know I like to modify my blogs to personify me a little more. I am defineatly not a template that you pick from a very short list. So well ta da. Still more to do obviously but it is a start. Quick note to people who decided to use xhtml for these blogs, xhtml sucks like huge time. If you seriously want to make it that everyone has the same blog, would you consider giving the non code minded a few more options... just a thought....

Cravatta a me nel nastro isolante, baby

I so badly want to do this. I don't have a sewing dummy and honestly I don't think a sewing dummy was ever designed with my figure in mind. Sides I think I would like to put arms on my dummy... my arms always give me problems without fits... either that or I am developing an early onset hunchback. I have seen this before but I dunno if I got anyone that would wrap me up in duct tape and then cut me out of it. This is also limited by the number of people I would feel comfy in displaying a large portion of my skimpily clad body too. Would also like to have dummy's of people I might sew for, then I can fit clothes to them without them moving, stick pins in them with out complaints and do it when they are not around.... Any hands up for assistance or being a dummy model?

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Bagno di Rinnovamento

Once I have my bed, bedding, mirror and curtains in my room (the desk area will have to wait I think as I am not to sure where to go from here); plus have all the rubbish thrown away. I think it is time to move on to my new project. This new one has just started recently to scream for someone's attention. My bathroom, well the one I use being as it is not my house and their for not mine (you may have guessed that I have had that lecture numerable times) an I am about to lavish upon it some of my loving devoted attention.

Having just had a tiling problem corrected there will be no changing those. Not changing them makes it much less work for myself, and create one less problem to be discussed with the home owner, Also I quite like the tiles (considering the tiles chosen in other parts of the house). Post my room, this bathroom was the brightest room in the house. It has bright yellow tiles white walls and white sinks, bath and toilet and all the cabinetry is white also. The majority of the stuff is still usable no reason to throw them out. there are 2 main things that bug me the most. The cabinet is falling apart (almost literally while I look at it) and the taps don't match and are old. It also desperately needs a coat of paint and for the windowsill to be repaired in someway so that the water damage is at least disguised.

I know I might of sworn never again to paint a room... but this is a smaller rooms. Sadly though it does have cornices still. The bathroom also has this horrible beer glass screen around the bath; which despite putting pressure on the home owner about getting it replaced the owner does not seem to want to budge. suggestions on arguments to get rid of it are called for.

Is an idea anyway maybe I move before I do anything about it.

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Camera per due

I bought it!!!! not the bedsides (yet) or the tallboy (not pictured)(yet) also didn't buy the other display stuff around it; but in 4-6 weeks this is MINE!!!! Also bought a matress so I can sleep on it as soon as I get it. Yay Yay Yay!!!.

Pensate strumento cintura e un cappello duro ... Nient'altro.

For a while my room renovations have been stagnating a little. With the possibility of my bed arriving on the near horizon, (as in I am going to go put at least a down payment on it tonight). I really should pull my finger out and do something about the rest of the room.

I have a large number of boxes I have not unpacked yet; I figure that they are never going to get used so I am pretty much going to throw them out as is (I have to go through them I know there is a family heirloom in there I have to keep. Also rescue any miss 'packed' books). These need to be removed so that there is room for the bed (Yay a bed!).

I also need to make my curtains. whilst my beautiful sari is making a pretty temporary curtain; it is shear and actually seems to make my room look smaller.

With the curtain issue also comes the cabinetry issue. Initially I had planned on getting a friend who builds cabinetry for a living to give me a quote and get him to build if for me; but as he can't even finish/fix the kitchen he built for us, I really don't want to be screwed about. I unfondly refer to him as the Penis King. So perhaps I will have to build the things myself. Little medicine cabinet for the window; desk with draw (contemplating putting in a locking cupboard too), shelves and clothes rail. To do this requires power tools (ok so it doesn't but I don't have the patience not to use them) maybe that is what I should have asked for for Christmas from Santa; not that 'he'd' let me have them anyway. A power jigsaw; and drill might be a good start or even a basic kit would be great. (odd that that site is actually making reference to valentines day... isn't that ages away?).

I should make a plan... something like
WEEKEND

1. Get rid of boxes of junk, return all lost books to bookcases
2. Make curtains and put them up
3. Destory cupboard innards and paint
   
4. Go to Brisbane (non related)
5. Build cupboard innards
6. Install new innards (Bed arrives!)

Wow that actually lines up quite well... though I will probably be a pauper mouse by the end... Especially with Brisbane trip and valentines day just around the corner (I looked it is actually quite close...scary) What I would give to sit on my arse an snap my fingers and have it all done for me. I can probably do weekend 1 and 2 at least... the cabinetry will be a big job an lots of money... an I want power tools... mmm... there is an idea... anyone have cupids address?

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Vacanze sono oltre

Thought you might like to see a few pics from my holiday... in no particular order; here we go.

Look closely and you'll see a mummy and a baby quokka (no that is not a spelling mistake)

The light house on Rottnest Island (I quite like this pics)

Fishies seen from a boat (Made you a little dizzy)

Day one on the train (my sister)

Cook School Play Area Rules (though I am sure you can read that for yourself)

Sparky (couldn't help not add him... suspect he will disappear though so look at him while his hot, BUT NO TOUCHING!)

These were all taken on my phone so please excuse the quality

Please hold onto your lunch!

Sette ore e conteggio. Ero giù contando le ore per quasi una settimana. Può sembrare triste, ma il tempo sembra andare veramente veloce quando si va a letto e rendersi conto che hai appena perso un altro ventiquattro ore. Cento e sessanta otto ore è andato così veloce e ora siamo in questi ultimi sette. Sono ansioso di vedere di nuovo, e questa volta di essere in grado di abbracciare lui. Qualcosa non puoi fare su Skype. Io cerco di non parlare di lui qui, ma oggi mi 'causare Amo lui e non può aspettare di vedere di nuovo ... Sei ore e trenta minuti!

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io sono stanco

I have a small confession to make. I am still tired. I have been self medicating with berroca and Iron tablets and seriously contemplating caffeine to the list again. Most of the day I seem to spend in a stupor. Just working on repetition (not the most encouraging thought when you consider that I spend about 1.5 hours driving every day). As your aware I've run out of iron again but I am still on the berroca. and whilst maybe it was making a difference, it was not a major difference. Temporarily it seemed to have worked; but not any more.

I sleep right
I eat right
I drink right

So there shouldn't be anything wrong with me. I have to admit that I usually don't feel tired between the times of 7pm (Sydney time) and bed. But most of the time I figure I would be as useful sitting on a couch watching tv.

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Voglio andare verde, di nuovo

Yes I know I have tried going green before. I also know I am such a lazy git that the probability that I will stay green long is kinda low well not on my own anyway. Want to know what I hate most about going green? A product that is seen on the shelves says buy me I am green. You think yay pull it down turn it over and you can not read the ingredients list. Sure I think it is in English; I know enough French and Italian to know it isn't in those. Honestly why do they have to say sodium chloride when they mean salt? Sure if they put it in straight normal English I might sit down one day and make my own; but I am to lazy and busy to do that all the time. If I like it I will be back for more. An so is pretty much everyone else. Yes you have those competitors that will steal your product, but they are already doing that to your product in China anyway (plus adding horrible extra chemicals) least if they do it here we can go pound their bum to dust for being non-Australian (wow this is turning racist too).

Anyway I have been looking around; I did like my previous products that I was buying when I was green. But they were all in glass containers and whilst this is a nice thing. Glass and travel are not necessarily a good combination especially with travel rules etc. I can just see it "No ma'am you can't take your hand cream with you, it is a glass container you might stab the pilot with it; I am aware it is the size of a 20 cent piece but I am going to have to throw it out. I don't care that it cost you $50 it is the rules." Anyway I digress, as I am planning on doing a lot of travelling, ok so hoping to do a lot of travelling (as there aren't actually cemented plans for it) glass really isn't the way to go. So I am looking for alternatives; and this time I was also thinking of going a little further then just hair and body products; was thinking adornment products (make up) and cleaning products... much better then thinking I am going to die with the amount of chlorine and stuff that traditional cleaning stuff has in it.

problem is, I can't find anything in my state let alone nearby area. Today's searching has me headed for Queensland... Can't exactly wander up to Queensland every time I run out of toilet cleaner and shampoo.

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Giallo Stomaco

I went and saw Elizabeth; the golden years last night. If you have seen it I do not know what you thought of it; personally I thought it sucked. I could not seem to affiliate myself with any of the characters; a shocking horrible discovery. And honestly I did not have the stomach for all the torture scenes, or the beheading of Mary queen of Scots. The only good part was the costumes of the queen; her dresses; not her make up or hair styles; just her dresses.

I realise that over the past many months I have been doing much more better things then watching tv. An I have enjoyed every minute of it and hope that my evenings are to continue in this manner for sometime. I do not miss tv; in fact it really holds no interest for me at all these days. It is actually very surprising how much tv can desensitise you to blood torture and the likes. Yet I have found it just as surprising how easy it is to leave it behind and how quickly you become resensitised because you are no longer being constantly fed the treatments.

I am good in a crisis generally if I am called upon to bury my fist in the gaping whole that was just blasted in your side to keep you alive. I'll probably do it without a moments thought. But I really don't want to see it on my tv screen or for that matter the big screen, I just want to close my eyes until it is over; especially if it is one human to another, I can handle accidents just a little better.

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La principessa e il pisello

What do you get if you combine:

• a canvas camp stretcher
• a self inflatable mat
• a fitted satin sheet
• unzipped sleeping bag
• 2 furs
• and a couple of pillows

You have a bed far more comfortable then my mattress. Yes to some degree my sleeping arrangements standards have lowered even further as I am now sleeping on camp furniture. But at last I am getting a very comfortable nights sleep. Yes now it would be far to awkward to have two people on my bed, and it is now a lot further to fall should one roll off the bed. But now I am not waking up with a sore back. I am not waking thinking I am more tired then when I first closed my eyes. My room is still very makeshift, I still have not unpacked any of the boxes, not even to find objects I have been requested to find. They are making my room look like a serious mess. Neither have I painted out the cupboard or arranged to get it fitted out properly. I can't even get at the other cupboard; not that that is a lose, it is only being used as storage, despite my other plans for it. I am much more comfy though so I am happies.

On a gross note; I have been off iron pills for 3 days now and already my incessant sneezing is back and there is blood in the snot. This can't be a good thing right? What does iron have to do with my nose?

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È comune cortesia, non è vero?

I am beginning to think I live my life with my head in a bucket. Often I go with friends to see movies that i am not keen on going to see (did I say often perhaps I should say regularly). With my manner of trying everything at least once (there are limits) I will go along and see sometimes this is good giving me a taste of movies I've liked that I would not normally have chosen but I did enjoy. Over the past month 2 movies have come up that I have wanted to see that my movie companion will not see.

The first the beautiful One night with the king. - this was not at our regular cinema and was 15 minutes further away so this was to difficult and complicated

The most recent request was for death at a funeral - this looks silly.

So far the only movie I have refused to see point blank is Rogue the suggestion made to be seen instead of death at a funeral. A fact that I have been saying I won't go see it for weeks I think should of course be ignored. Yes I am a pansy, nothing wrong with a huge scary man eating crocodile movie. It's like Jurassic Park, just without extinct animals. I already have an incredibly stupid high regard for sharks, I don't want to put crocodiles in that list too.

Is it just my view that there should be give and take with friends. That they should be able to say ok, we'll go to that movie that you choose; without me jumping up and down saying you chose this this this and this that I wasn't looking forward to seeing. Sci fi movies, fantasy movies are almost not an option (with the occasional exclusion) Looks like british comedy is out too. I'll get stuck watching romances and chick flicks... prehaps my movie friend should go to the movies with my sister instead.

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E non è tutto per lei!

Over the last few days a discussion came up where I once again got myself in trouble. I have come to the conclusion that divorce turns people into selfish individuals. The issue came up with one member of my family lamenting the total ruin of our Christmas tradition. Once upon a time the whole extended family got together (being a small group we fitted in one house) and spent Christmas day together. From early morning where we sometimes shared breakfast together to late in the evening. It was family time where we got together and just was. The first divorce in the family put a almost insignificant rupture. Then due to the ability of the matriarch to be racist and a disproved wedding things got strained. Then my uncle divorced his wife and has now re-married. So you see the small mess my family is in. With the matriarch now moved on to greener pastures the strain is gone and now members of the family are known to lament the ruin of their Christmas.

Now I can fully understand that the years that Christmas would be at the home of the member of the divorce's them not wishing to have their opposing party in their home (especially if they are remarried (and breeding again)). I do not understand however why they can not bury the hatchet for the occasional day a year when they are invited to someone else's home. For example, why must I have a minimum of 2/3 Christmas's in small dribs and drabs when it is my year to have Christmas? Why can't I have my mother and my father, My Aunt, My Uncle and his interloper plus all my cousins over at the same time for my Christmas party? It isn't about them, it is about me that year and it is my home and they are all my family. My mother has told me that if I had a small gathering at my home (ie just family) and my father was coming, she would not come, neither would my sister come I would imagine.

I realise that divorce creates a lot of hurt and pain, and pain, but in the end particularly if you have breed prior to that their are times I think they should realise that they are burying the hatchet to show someone they are loved. Why when it is my event should I have to jump to hoops to make them happy it is my event, it is about me. What about weddings and funerals, baptism's and the like? am I to hold to of every event just so that they don't have to be in the same room?

Anyway if your going to be so selfish bout it and not do anything about getting back the events you enjoyed. Stop lamenting about it and wishing everything has happened; It's happened it isn't going to change; you can either fix it or shut up.

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Chi l'ha detto che avevo cattivo gusto; mentito

Due to an unfortunate mishap with my phone; I seem to have dropped it for the last time, I have been scouring the internet to get a replacement; and being that I am kinda happy with my current mobile phone provider I should buy a phone outright. So of course I have found one that I really like and kinda got my heart set on it.

The features that I want are:

• Camera 5 Megapixal with auto focus and 20x digital zoom (with flash)
  
• Bluetooth - for Simon (my GPS)
• Vibrating Alert (can't recieve sms's in movies and rally's without it)
• Alarm (trust me a must)
• Decent standby time (don't want to recharge it everyday because I didn't use it)
• Decent Talk time (don't want to have to talk plugged into a wall; that is what a landline is for)
• Sound recorder - might use that... not sure depends on distance needing to be at mouth
• AC Charger
• Colour screen
• drop proof - either permanently attach it to my body or give me a bouncable cover
  

The phone I want has all this (excluding drop proofing), plus extras I don't need like;

• 3g Broadband - I have internet I don't need more
• MP3 player - I have one don't need another
• Video Calling - had it on my last phone never used it
• Speaker phone - I am not supposed to drive and talk
• Infarared - no idea why I would use it
• GPS - I have Simon and I don't usually get lost on my feet
• Games - Also had em; don't use them
• FM Radio - umm no
• e-mail - nice idea but no
• Java - mostly only used for games before and takes forever to load
• Calculator - 1+1=2... see I know maths I no need
• Organiser - I like my paper one I leave at work...
  
• PC Synchronisation - Good for storing illicit sms's; pain in the arse to synchronise
• Hands free - you still got to push the buttons and if I don't want speaker phone why I want this?
• Video Connectivity Cable - what am I going to connect it to I mean really the point is? I'll just lose it
• USB cable - not going to synchronise to my computer no need it

All that for $1049. So of course I won't be getting it; (especially now that I have listed my wants and not wants). Due to my propensity for dropping I should get a really cheap phone. In the outright phones the cheapest I can get is almost a nokia original, with greenish and black little screen with few extras like snake and vibration alert. There are options in between these options of course and either I get more junk then I want and pay loads for it; or I have to lose out on stuff I want. Either way you got to pay lots more

Option 2 is to change prepaid phone company's - whole new kettle of fish as well dealing with phone junk, I got to find a company that gives me what I want, and I always get the feeling I am getting a dodgy phone; for the speed at which it is becoming obsolete is scary.

Option 3 Go on a plan. This is seriously the last option plans make me uncomfortable. They are going to make me pay them money for a minimum of 2 years in a contract that makes me feel a lot nervous. Yay up-to-date phone for signing a contract in blood with the devil.

I would like to custom build my phone. You can do it for computers why not phones. I'd happily pay someone to build me a phone to my specifications with only the stuff I want not all this other junk. They say the people buy on 2 thinks look, and ease of use. That is what most people might do... but what about those of us who might like to fiddle with parts etc... Computer geeks get to build their own computers; why can't fussy mobile phone users build their own mobile? I would not get a mobile in demonstration except well I do need one and my stand won't actually make a difference would it?

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Perdonare e dimenticare

Feeling the need to air secret dirty laundry today in an effort to figure out whether I am insane or perhaps I have been treated badly and my feelings are justified.

I kinda realised that I harbour a lot of contempt for certain members of my family and I am not sure if I should so I been thinking about reasons that I might have been given to learn these feelings.

In grade three my sister was being marked unfairly by her teacher more then once. My mother should know she would have done a large portion of the work. My mother wrote an essay numerous pages long, made copies and handed it to a bunch of people on school board and such and even took my sister for an interview at another school with thoughts of moving her because of the bad treatment. I was terrorized by all the kids in the school for as long as I can remember and all the teachers turned a blind eye to it. I was never given the opportunity to change schools until I told my mother half way through year 9 that I had been thinking about secretly moving schools on my own.

I've always had to wait for my sister. Take for example M15+ movies; After I turned 15 I was allowed to watch them for a week; after that I wasn't allowed to watch anything more then a pg until after my sister turned 15. Though she was the first to watch an M movie, she watched Liar Liar under age at the movies for a friends party. Mum says she didn't know. Despite the fact I told her over and over what it was.

My mother claims that my sister was always friendly to me and supported me. That I would like to point out is bullshit. When I say the whole school terrorized me. I include my sister. She is just as guilty as the rest. It was a well known fact to be friends to me would get you alienated.

My mother has done the majority of the work for all my sisters assignments. Yes my sister actually types them; but the hard yards were done by my mother. I have been told I am smart I don't need help. She says my sister isn't smart and needs all the help she can get if she wants to make it in the world (If your reading this; Yes your kinda loving mother thinks your stupid!)

When I got tonsillitis I had it for over a week before my mother agreed I was ill. I couldn't swallow without pain; breathing was difficult and my tonsils were the size of golf balls by this time and I was still going to school. I still have the offending articles and they are very easy to see and enjoy getting sore on occasion. When my sister gets a cold we go get special tissues and lozenges and give her the day off.

Getting car liscences, my sister was pretty much on her full liscence before I even got my P's because my sister could afford to pay for driving lessons. I could not afford them and so I was going to get my uncle to teach me; but no one could be bothered to take the time to take me down to see him; and I wasn't allowed to catch the train down as he brought me back the only time I did it. My sister was allowed to drive my mothers manual practically new car. I had to beg to be allowed to drive the automatic car that had had three previous owners.

Every weekend is taken up doing things my sister wants to do. Shopping/Surfing etc. It is a large inconvenience to do things I would like to do. All calendars are organized around what my sister is doing. To bad if I end up double booked. Lives are rearranged so she can attend events only to have her decided she isn't going to go after all.

Her rudeness, lies and stories are encouraged. From a young age she would hit me and then I would get into trouble because I must of hit her first for her to hit me. My existence is just to make her every wish a reality. I must marry so that she can be a maid of honour, (She of course picks all the dresses and the accessories and who will be in the party where it will be and who will be invited, but she won't make a speech of course). I must breed so that she can have small children to terrorize whom she believes will adore her. I must go on holidays I don't want to be on so that she doesn't have to go alone. I must ruin my holiday by being thoughtful of her because she doesn't know how to quietly entertain herself without a tv.

GRRR!!! and these are only off the top of my head. I have to admit the majority of them suggest I am severely jealous of her. But Jealousy leads to contempt and even hate. Any admittance on my part that I dislike my sister is met with a "No you don't she's your sister you love her." Any reference that suggests my mother is only my sisters mother is also squished flat. I am suppose to tell certain people how great they are. How do I do that when I want to be able to say I don't lie to that same person. I want this person in my life; and I don't want them in it. I knows I am a bad person for thinking it, they are my family I am supposed to love them just because we are related, but I don't. I would rather I had no family.

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Letto gioca

This not having a proper bed is starting to annoy me. I found a bed I liked and was going to put down a deposit for it about 4 weeks ago. Sadly for me I was convinced to wait; perhaps it would be on sale soon with Christmas so close on the horizon. So it is still waiting to be ordered; which is a pain as it takes 6 weeks for the order to come through. This would be fine except well my mattress that I am sleeping on is at least 23 years old. So you can imagine that honestly it is not providing much comfort at all these days. Don't get me wrong it is comfortable; but honestly I am sure a bed should be much more comfortable then this is. I have been waking up really sore every morning and it takes some time before I warm up and feel better. I am blaming this on my mattress because people fatter then me seem to be able to get a good nights sleep and not wake up feeling like I am. So I got to put my foot down; throw a tantrum and go and get my bed.... only problem is now I won't get the one I wanted this side of Christmas... it is likely that I wouldn't get it till sometime in February. "Grr," why do I do as I am told all the time?"

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Natale

I found this one someone elses blog... put it on your blog too (with your answers not mine). Nice and easy, means your blog will get that post he's been craving for.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper! If you think someone is worth giving a present you should put a little effort into it.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Fake tree; they look nice in the end and take a lot longer to look like a scraggily dead stick of wood.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Generally I avoid doing it at home; but I think December 1 is a good time.

4. When do you take the tree down?
I think it should be pulled down New Years eve day.

5. Do you like eggnog?
meh; I'll take it or leave it

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I think it was my first camera

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Not personaly, but there is one in the house

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Male's in general... I now have a new found respect for men that dress half decently.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My mother or sister... My mother or sister usually does it for me.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Bath stuff- sorry I realise you can't think of anything better; but your telling me I don't bathe often enough. I'd rather you didn't spend the money because 'you should get me something' then insult me.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
Mail!!! I love getting letters... I don't many; so I like to mail cards (if I do them)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus I think. Though The Santa Claus would kinda run close second... my dad is looking more and more like that Santa every time I see him

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
mmm... next week maybe... after November is over I think.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
I am to lazy for that... more likely to loose it first.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
candy canes...

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear; then they are more like little stars or candles and look pretty rather then tacky

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Wishes - by human Nature,

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
depends am I travelling to be with the people I want to spend Christmas with?

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angels; they make a tree look really elegant

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning... and if your really horrid... have breakfast first... it's amusing watching the excited ones chaffing at the bit to open their presents.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Christmas in the shopping centres started like the middle of October

23. What I love most about Christmas?
Holidays and the chance to spend time with the people you love

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Rispetto - Spelled con S

I am feeling creative so I think I will tell you a little story now.

Madeline was spending her holidays at her aunts place in Virginia. Her friend had come along with her and they had a lovely time romping in the town and chasing the cows on the farm with her two cousins. One morning they decided that they would go to the dam for the afternoon and have a fun time playing in the cool water. Madeline looked forward to it; and when the time approached, she went into the house to get changed; when she came out again she found that everyone had gone. Thinking perhaps maybe they had gone in to get changed to, she went inside and had a quick look. There was no one there; they had gone without her.

Suddenly her day was shattered, the event she was looking forward to had left her all alone. Hoping to salvage the afternoon Madeline went down to the dam on her own and found them having fun without her. Her friend called her to join them; which she did, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she had been abandoned. She pushed the thought from her mind and made the best of the situation.

Later that evening when her friend and her were alone Madeline asked her friend not to leave her behind again. Her friend apologised and explained what had happened. This made Madeline feel lots better and the incident was soon forgotten.

The morale of the story; Madeline didn't like what had happened and said something about it; and her friend didn't tell her off for it, even though it wasn't really the friends fault. It is hard sometimes to do it; but friends who don't put you down for speaking up are worth keeping.

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Sono intrappolati; non maturi!

Following on from the previous post I have found 2 sites of some assistance. Vernon Coleman; has a test on it which I figured I would do (it's a manual test; so it isn't a mouse click one and takes a little longer) 9 and below is the lowest section; you might think with that many questions you got to work really hard to get below that... I got a 7.

The other was an interesting read/view. wasn't a guide book or anything but not to bad.

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Sono stanco di essere buono

I realise with my history that this title has you sitting up straighter and your hair standing on end. "Oh no what could she possibly mean by that?" I don't mean going back to my old ways; I mean stopping this 'roll over, good dog' mentality as Deli refers to it. I think of the little sign displayed in a few offices at the receptionists desks with a smile, 'I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking any good either.' It is a sentiment that I really wish I could follow through on.

Looking at yesterdays post I figured I got this far... being me... perhaps it is time to address some of the faults I have. An I think it is seriously time to deal with the fact that I don't just roll with the punches; I play dead. At work if something goes wrong it is always my fault and I have at least 3-5 people sepperatly tell me off for it. One of these people dosn't even come into the office and I have never met him in person. At home I am tag teamed and I am never sure if I am coming or going. At work I rarely ever stand up and say shove off to anyone; I don't speak the language so I never know what is going on, so life has become keep your head down and do as you are told. At home when I have tried it the response to it is 'You would do it for 'so and so'' or 'But you did it last week?' these are the nicer responses...

When it comes to standing up for myself I am not very good at it. I either have to push so hard to make the other cry before or my argument is totally ignored and I lose my footing and give in. Responses thrown at me are I am selfish, I am thoughtless, I am cruel, I have favourites etc. And when a very similar incident comes around we have to go through it all again; and I sometimes can't find the energy to fight it again. It's like peeing on a tree to mark your territory, the other dogs still continue to walk by; sometimes even pee on my tree; but I feel like an old dog and don't want to fight so often

I also can't find a guid book on doing this either

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Sono contenuti

I woke up this morning in a state of contentment. I have noticed it creeping on me slowly over the past few days. I feel balanced, calm, relaxed and not frightened. I still get a little antsy when I consider the what ifs; but I suppose we can't have it totally perfect. I think I am even begining to trust a little more then I have been.

Unfortunately for this tranquil state I can not find pictures that would have me personify my blog more, rather then using the standard blogging template. Perhaps my words are not the right ones to get back what I am looking for.

I also have the desire to write; but I only have one story in my head and I don't think it is a story I should tell just yet I don't even know how it ends yet.

My ultimate desires no longer feel unattainable and forbidden to me, and I am finally letting go of the thoughts that these things will be taken away from me the moment I let myself hope for them. I still a little awkward just being in my own skin, but ultimately I think I can let go of the railing.

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Poveri Jesse ha tagliato

Last night I watched a beautiful movie, which had beautiful people in it and had beautiful costumes. It was called 'One knight with the king". I have to admit there were a few things that caught my attention in the negative, the biblical story that this movie was based on there were a few things they missed out (though as technically it was based on a book; which was based on the biblical perhaps there is a good reason for this). I am not sure what the budget was like for this movie; it did have the most beautiful costumes (though some characters looked a little ungainly in them) how ever in one scene I think I caught a glimpse of a price tag on the underneath of a cup... ok, if the person hadn't drunk out of it I wouldn't have seen it, then again I might be incorrect and need my eyes fixed.

My biggest complaint is that the character of Jesse (played by Jonah Lotan) I think should have had a much larger coverage. I realise that in giving his story more coverage the rating might of changed; but he lost a lot in this story and I don't think his loss is compensated for. I would have much rather not seen Haman's story and the rest of the intrigue of the court and seen more of Jesse. He is almost forgotten about and considering the relationship he had with Hadassah at the beginning of the movie I think it is totally unfair. I also think it is unfair that I can only find one picture of him in the movie... and it is off the back of his head!!!

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I'll succhiare la vostra, se succhiare miniera ...

So Klara turned head to foot and put her most
unmentionable part down on his hard-breathing nose and mouth and
took his old battering ram into her lips.

As a writer it does interest me occasionally the different awards that are handed out and today I was sent an article on the bad sex in fiction award.Personally I would be appalled with myself if I was to receive this award, but I have to admit I think that little bit that was posted with the comment, "...leaves little to the imagination." was really quite creatively written. Especially when you consider that the author has recently moved to realm of the muses at the age of 84.

I am not sure why he got awarded the prize; unless of course the scene falls apart further on; or that it's description is such that people can visualise what is happening so clearly that they a disconcerted by bodily reactions I am not sure.

I have not read a lot of this sort of thing; but at least I know what they are doing. Far to often it is written with a seeming veil draped over the seen and you end up with, I know the characters had sex for the last three pages; but I have no clue what so ever as too how.

Norman Mailer has been tasteful with his description in the above extract, but we still know what he is describing. And for his vintage I can imagine his peers would be appalled. I have read much more crass a versions for this position.

Only other thing I can think of is from that little extract the 'battering ram" suggests ugly; and "unmentionable" suggests prude. Ugly people and prudes do have sex... and sometimes like in this case they do it together. I think I would like to read the rest of this book/scene and try a little more of his work.

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Iniezione di cancro cervicale

It was suggested to me yesterday; not for the first time that I should go get this injection that is to prevent cervical cancer. I tried very hard for this person to understand that such a suggestion should receive a reply such as "get bent".

I realise that this is a drug for women to prevent us getting cervical cancer; and is being promoted as a good thing. I think it is too soon. I don't think we are aware of the potential long term consequences of this drug. I mean smoking were promoted as healthy for you when it came out and look what we say about it now. I am not about to get jabbed with something now that a few years down the track will be proven to be the potential ruin of my 'sons' lives. Before Della again suggests that my vagina feeling it is being speculated upon; and my hormones are screaming "fertilise me fertilise me" let me continue.

Not so many years ago women were given a certain drug during pregnancies to help with morning sickness or something. It was later discovered that oops, this drug 'causes deformities and was taken off the doctors list. It was promoted as a good thing but it screwed up lives. Correct me if I am wrong... the cervix is the same area, that place that men don't have because they are men; and where our sons kinda materialise. It is a very precious place and should be cared for. Altering that place could have huge ramifications down the line, anyone that has my blood running through it's veins could have the problems this drug might 'cause... Until I know the only thing my sons will get from it is that they will be born circumsized instead of au natural (good thing for a proper Jew; or a women that wants her son's snipped and husband doesn't), I am not going to encourage anyone to do it.

And why is it that women under 25/26 get it for free; are we to dumb to question the possibilities? You can get cervical cancer at any age. Anyway it is my cervix and I'll do what I think is best for it; I am not letting it be part of a huge science project just for them to turn around and say oops. I got enough stuff to pass on to my sons then to add a new science mistake to the list and have all my offspring's offspring's offspring screwed for life.

Yes all the tests say it is ok; but that is what they have said before. I have the source of life clapped between my thighs and I am not going to mess with it, I would rather get cervical cancer and die; then create problems for everyone after me.

Il mio Dio è un Dio geloso

Theytell me that there is no room for jealousy in love. I do not believe that I am totally comfortable with that idea. My God is a jealous God, and he loves me. I was never told jealous meant anything different in Greek or Hebrew or whatever it was written in. It means we don't want to share with anyone else. If my God loves me and is jealous; why can't we? I am not saying that a lover would lock a partner in a closet and never let them spend time with others, but why can't you have the desire not to share that person with anyone else?


I am the queen of not sharing, or so says my family. So why would I want to share my partner? I want only me and him. If I had to share him with another woman, I would be jealous. I don't intend to tattoo his bum with "property of...", I want him to do what he wants, but honestly, in the end, I want him to go home to me.

I want him also to be too jealous about me. (Also not wanting my bum tattoo'ed)

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Per aiutarmi a leggere e scrivere in italiano

Non preoccuparti, non hai risvegliato e scoperto non puoi leggere. Ho pensato che divertirmi a giocare oggi di essere italiano. Ho messo in una traduzione in inglese di seguito. Alcune delle modifiche sono permanenti, come le rubriche (si spera) e la barra laterale. Se volete sapere di che cosa si dice, il traduttore di Google sulla sinistra hanno bisogno di aiuto. Ti prego di perdonare il mio cattivo inglese/italiano. Grazie

Donot worry, you have not awakened and discovered you can not read. I thought it fun to play today to be Italian. I put in a translation into English below. Some of the changes are permanent, such as headings (hopefully) and the sidebar. If you want to know what they say, the Google translator on the left need help. Please forgive my poor English/Italian. Thanks

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Histories

I was given a sneak peak into an old blog today. I like old thoughts; there are so many stories there. It is all snatches of thoughts and little bits of feeling. All kinda rambling not nailed down with any details.

I didn't know this person then like I do now. Though as I read I think I would have liked to. I think we would have had some interesting fights... err I mean discussions. Kinda do feel a little like I am prying into the blogs owners secret life; not that they said I couldn't look; though did say I would get stressed and they didn't want me to get stressed. I am not stressed but I got like a million requests for stories now, that you probably don't remember also probably some of those strange questions you seem to fear.

It is interesting though to see some of the places you have changed a little. For someone who was saying you didn't live by rules you had a lot for everyone else. An I would really like to know who it was that you looked at that scared you because you realised they were looking into you; and you into them... I know there are lots more things I want to ask and say about it; but I can't remember off the top of my head.

Thank you for letting me see it though; I know it is a blog and so other people have seen it before me, but I don't see you write like that now. Still it was kinda likes being in a large dark cavern and in it a large pool of water; you can't see where the pool ends. It isn't scary or cold you don't have to be there you could leave and it not make a difference, it's kinda safe and peaceful there though. I just dipped my toes in the water though; but I would like to know what is on the other side of the pool; I don't think I would get lost any more...

How dumb did that last bit sound....

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Dreaming plans

Yesterday I rashly applied for another job; and with in 1/2 an hour I had an interview. Please note that this is through an agency and from previous experience they don't actually reply let alone get back so quickly particularly when you aply by e-mail and send your resume that way. Kinda a little surprised by it all; anyway I have an interview this afternoon (told present job I am seeing a doctor).

Anyway this morning I trawlled the internet job sites looking at other job offers. Looked at other positions like my own (I didn't apply to another one) then for amusement I had a look at the IT positions, I found one that that made specific requests for certain computer knowledge. Scarily of the list of about 10 things there was only 2 I had not played with. They wanted someone with papers and experience which I don't have and I am not really confident using a few of the ones I can do (as I am always getting them checked and tweaked). I didn't apply but it was really odd looking at it thinking that if I do this IT course in that area; I could triple my present income like straight away.

Kinda cool that thought, could move out to my own place afford a deposit on a house sooner (i.e. 1 year at home would get me the saving equivalent of 3 years (if I am not dumb with my money) But to do all this sooner then later; I would want to do full time study (3 years) part-time is like double that time; feels like so far away and I want to be out of home now... well at least if I was to get this new job; I would get a substantial pay rise.... even if my ideas become plans; that is more saving money.

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Heart-Brain

I have to admit that when I got the link to this interview with Joseph Chilton Pearce; I didn't really think it was going to be any good; so I kinda scrolled over it and read snippets that really stood out. The problem was the more snippets I read the more interested I became. I got the link at 7:00 this morning and it is now 2:53 and I have just finished it; no it isn't that long, nor am I an excessively slow reader; I did have to work also during this time.

It has lots of really good points and kinda runs along with a lot of my ideas about dragging up kids; tv and the likes. Except this comes with science and research to back it up.

Really it is kinda stuff you shouldn't need to prove it is instinct level; or at least it should be (I think anyway). Read it; I loved it you might too.

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Parlo en Poco Italiano!

What do you call it when you aren't dreaming in Italian; but you are defenatly practicing your Italian words your sleep? I think my subconscious is learning faster then I am I listen everyday and go over and over them; I only just moved onto cd2 yesterday. If my subconscious gets to practice during the night as well it just isn't fair, I'll never keep up.

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Vote 1 for Moron!

was scrolling through lifehacker this morning to see what I might of missed and stumbled upon a help to vote link. If I had of known it would have told me how to fill out the stupid piece of paper depending on my answers to the quiz; I might of done it sooner. I have actually voted, great thing religion and voting conflict when it comes to choosing a day to vote. So postal voting it is; I voted and sent it of... there are similariities in my results to what I voted; I put the same ones last as they suggested.

You might find this makes the chore easier for you or have a go just for fun anyway

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I CAN'T DO FREAKING EVERYTHING!!!

If you wonders why I require things like my diary to keep track of everything, it is not so that I can be organized; it is so I don't have to deal with shite like I am about to face this weekend. I have a jam packed Saturday ahead; with if I am lucky I will have 1.5 hours at home in which I will eat and get changed. I already squashed someone's plans for partying all Saturday afternoon were I would be expected to help. Well the party is still going ahead just with different people, I won't necessarily be expected to help out this time but I will be expected to eat with them. Here is the delemia the church I will be attending is well known for running late and it is a big event day so it is likely to run even later. So if I get home by 1 I will be glad. I also need to be back at my church by 2:15 at the latest which means I need to leave at 2.

1 hour to get dressed into a full dress uniform (this includes scrounging through the house looking for all the little parts of it) and eating. As the 'party' will be having a leisurely lunch I can't do that too

ARGH!!!

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Women Speak 101

Lesson 1
When purchasing furniture like objects consider your significant other and how comfortable they would be in the item. Will he dissapear between the cushions on that couch an not be retrieved for 3 days; Will he have to sleep with his knees halfway up his nose in that bed?
Do not discuss with partner or take them shopping

Lesson 2
When considering long term drastic life changes; plan them organise them; but don't tell partner, even though it involves them. It will be too soon, you might frighten him.

Lesson 3
Must know what other people want before they know what they want. Do not give it to them until after they have asked for it.

Lesson 4
Assume motives and attributes (ie 'your a slut') for a person and tell them often but tomorrow tell them how proud they are that you did something that goes against what they were assuming ignore however that they did it over six months ago and you only found out today.

If these make any sense you to I feel very sorry for you. So glad I am my fathers daughter, I missed these classes and now my education is trying to be amended. Little late I think and I am greatful; I can't logically make sense of any of them.

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2008

I realise it is only November; but I have started to fill out my holidays for next year. This past year has made me realise how far in advance I have to be planing. Espacially as in the last 6 months I got a little slack and people booked me into more then one event at a time. Already I have months almost totally booked up and I have yet to add in the regular things rather then just the incidentals. As far as I know I have all birthdays marked in and time marked to be kept free for special birthdays that will require travelling or whole days to be kept free so that they can be celebrated.


Also started thinking into the fast approaching distant future. Makes me feel like I am in limbo unable to make concrete decisions about it at the moment and having to wait until the time knocks on my door to decide. Provided of course these do knock on my door and I don't wander off down a side track....

Anyway if you want time marked out to hang out; you got to get in now

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Life Manual

I would like a life manual please; I want to be able to look up stupid person and be given the steps which might be taken to get me on the right track. There are so many things I don't understand and things I want to be able to understand. There are things I want to do and I don't know how and to make it harder I don't know what needs to be fixed... it's like playing hide and seek in your own head; and you know how frustrating that can be.

How should decisions be made? should they be practical thought out things or emotive made? What is the one the style that should be used for everything? Do I make the choice about who to love and what car I will buy the same way? If not why?

I want all the hard questions answered; what is trust? Does it have to be in everything? If you lose it or break it where can you get more?

I want a step by step guide for the difficult things. How do you change what you know into what you believe? I know there is a God; but how did I go from that to beliving there is a God? Did I make him jump through hoops? Like "God I will believe in your existence if you find me a car spot..." I found a car spot, now did I find it, did God make it for me, or was it a conisidence?

I don't know the answers to all of the above and many more. I want answers, nay I need answers I am tired of imagining Damaclys's sword.

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vampire like suction

On the inside of my arm I presently have 2 (technically 3) rather large puffy dark bruises. Despite the rumour circulated by close friends; this are not love bites (dunno how I would feel about going out with someone with the suction capabilities to create these) I got these from the string of a freshly fired bow.

Yes I said bow; as in bow and arrow. Yes I was allowed near the potentially deadly weapon and allowed to fire it. It was so much fun. I would take it up as a sport properly; except that I don't think it would help the girth of my bum any. As much as I would like to say I am a natural and that I fired every round successfully and hit my targets with unnervingly accurate aim, I didn't, but I had lots of fun. Even though I don't really have the elbows for it (lets just say my elbows lock further back then yours do) I want to do it again and really soon...

Wanna come with me?

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Nerds night light

I woke up this morning absolutely positive that I was the third day into the week. Yesterday was so long my head has broken it into 2 days and it feels like such a long time since it was the weekend. I want it still to be weekend; being that it was so much fun.

Most of you would be aware that like most people I have the ability to age by one year upon a set date every year. This is a special time for me, where people are known to give me gifts and do special things for me. This time started with the arrival of my favourite personage on Friday afternoon; and basically closed with the same personage leaving Monday morning. I was given wonderful gifts, a mouse and keyboard that match my new computer (black with silver and blue lights) and Italian learning cd's; and some jewellery. All of which are wonderful and have really encouraged me to age again next year, Though I think the company was the bestest gifts of alls.

My keyboard has though decided upon it's self that unless all power is cut from the computer it is never going to shut down; so it has turned my little office space into a no shooting up area; complete with permanent blue light. I have never had a night light before; and it is taking getting used to but it is not so bad; and it also means I can find my bed clothes in the night when they slide off which I have found to be a really good thing.

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I wants back...

This has to be the longest day in history; I only worked for half of it so that should have made it a fast day. But no I was thinking It must be getting close to 3:30; but no, it was barely even 1:00!!!

Sure I did a few things that would make my day different and I didn't follow to my schedule that I normal follow on a weekday; but still this day has taken for ever to happen... And I didn't even want to get past the morning!!!

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Book Muncher

I unpacked my library this morning... I couldn't sleep work up really early (wonder why that was) anyway I desided for a change I would move my non fiction to the bigger bookcase and put the fiction in the little one and also in what was left of the big one. It was no surprise to me that in moving the non fiction to the bigger case that it only took up a couple of shelves; how ever

SOMEONE HAS BEEN EATING MY BOOKS!!!

What was once a full and over flowing two case library, has lots of missing books!!! I am not going to point any fingers yet as I have no clue as to whom they should be pointed at; but I have shelves that are empty!

It can't be just that I have rearranged things; I had books coming out my ears before and now I have huge spaces... Other then being non fiction and fiction I haven't put them in their correct order but that shouldn't matter they kinda weren't any more anyway. Leave that for when I have koha up and running right.

But I feel like the pride of my heart has had a big chunk eaten out of it... they must be somewhere.

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Mobile Phone

Was looking at my phone today; I broken the cover and whilst everything still works, the cover being broken how it is makes it difficult to move the camera about and it dosn't lock when I flip it open; so I was thinking now the majority of my past projects are complete; I might build myself a new cover for my phone; perhaps redesign it a little too. It is a little LG U8360 and I am off to see what I can do with it.

Watch this space for updates on my project... here is one someone made earlier.

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Sim Update

Latest update, a new family has joined the neighbourhood, Ruby and Chris, they are a married couple. Also married are Peter and Karina; Uni sweethearts... and Kat and Glen, ...love at first hug. Thought you might like to see some more footage of them. so here goes. This is footage from Kat and Glen's home. Kat doing a rendition as a lamp shade (now married and running flat chat chasing the twins she hasn't done this in a while).... and some footage of Glen fighting Kat's ex (note: Kat did not break up with her ex before she got married; and she invited the ex to the wedding he walked in on them whoohooing to make the twins)Sadly as you will see Glen lost and I did find him crying about it for a while; but his little girls have really taken his mind off the past.

Yes the families are now breeding. Glen and Kat have twin daughters, Winter-rain and Summer-Sky. Ruby and Chris have a daughter Dejay and a son Martin and will probably continue breeding until they get to old to do so anymore. And Peter and Karina had a daughter Peta-Daniella. Not enough enough boys to really start the inter breeding; but Martin is a start and prehaps there will be more boys.

Whining Mules

Would you like to know what irritates me a lot. People who look at the current situation and deciding that I am doing things for a reason that suits them. Their reason being incorrect and they stupid arrogant mules who can not be told other wise.

Take for instance my room. I have been planing it for months and finally have actually done the painting. Took 2 weeks but it is done. The mules have got it into their head that I have done it so that a visitor that is coming to our place can see it. If this was the case I would have had to start a lot earlier; do to the fact I am a lazy little person and now I have painted I can garentee it is going to take me months to unpack my room. Yes it is painted; but it is going to be trashed by boxes for a very long time; so the visitor isn't really going to get a good look anyway.

Recently as you might be aware I have off handedly started to learn Italian properly. The mules have decided I am learning it for good impression reasons; totally ignoreing the fact I have kinda been trying to learn it for years; I'd just recently found a free language tutor online; so I could take a step up from watching movies in Italian with English subtitles.

Why do people always assume there has to be a hidden agenda? I realise that these 2 examples fit neatly into the mules designs for my future. But is it to hard to fathom that I might be doing it for fun? Or finally turning my ideas into actions? Wait silly me; I must have an agenda with which to manipulate people with.

While I am whinging about stupid mules, "Stop Planning my wedding! I am no where near even considering the event and Your not going to be in it anyway!"

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